Joelle said around mid-afternoon on July 31, 2007
So, our building has a stray-ish cat that hangs out under these big weeping bush doodads in the front of the building. It’s black and white, very cute, and somewhat skittish. It also looks like Hitler. GFI and I occasionally comment about the Hitler cat and how we can’t figure out where it belongs.
While out there watering my plants and chatting with my apartment manager, the cat was spooked and darted out from under one of the bushes. The apartment manager (who is very nice and I like very much, but who we will call Furley for the sake of this blog) was distracted by it and said, “Oh, there’s that old cat...”
And out of my mouth flew, quite enthusiastically, “Yeah, that’s the Hitler cat! He totally looks like Hitler...” trailing off, as I remembered Furley is Jewish.
So… seriously. How bad is it? Was that merely unfortunate timing, really bad taste or was that like paper cuts on his soul? The last thing I’d want to do is offend someone unintentionally. (I like to plan to be offensive. Heh.) Was it as bad as I imagine (I swear, I just didn’t think!) or is my political correctness just turned up to eleven?
I’m wondering...should I feel like a total schmo about this or was it offensive enough that I should apologize?
Joelle said in the early morning on July 30, 2007 while listening to Verve Remixed Vol. 1-3
I watched a preview for the new Catherine Zeta-Jones film, No Reservations, this weekend. Of course, I’m all over that movie. A girl movie and foodie cooking stuff? What more do I need? I think GFI and I may have to make an afternoon of it some weekend — lunch and perhaps a pedicure. I’m such a chick like that.
Anyway, so I was watching this commercial and they’re slinging accolades for the film across the screen, declaring it “heartfelt” and “touching” and my personal favorite, “The year’s best date movie!”
Really? The year’s best? I take issue with this. Maybe they should change that to “The year’s best first date movie!” because really, that might be your only shot at getting most men to go see this movie with you. I can’t imagine any other time most guys would be willing to endure that sort of thing. If there’s potential for a shag or they’re trying to impress you, then sure… I could see a guy sitting through a touching story about a frigid woman, a quirky kid and the carefully disheveled guy who falls for them, but otherwise… I’m not so sure.
I wonder why they always say romantic comedies are the best date movies. In my dating career, I’ve been to exactly ONE chick flick with a man on a date. One — and honestly, it didn’t make me feel romantic. It made me nervous. “What if I cry in front of him? I wonder if he’s trying to figure out if he can get to 3rd base tonight. Is he asleep? What’s that smell?” How can you pay attention to Gwyneth with that kind of pressure? Come to think of it, it was a blind date and I didn’t care for him all that much, so that might have been the issue…
If it’s been a bad date, I’ve usually ended up at horror movies (which I could really take or leave), but on good dates, the movies have generally been comedies of the garden variety or something that got great reviews or an indie film or whatever. I don’t like watching the majority of chick flicks with men (unless I know already that they like such n’ such film). I know they probably don’t give a damn and that’s totally OK. I don’t care about Jet Li either. I’d rather stare in uncomfortable silence than sit through a Jet Li film, even if shagging is imminent, so I won’t put them through the paces, that’s just unfair.
Films like No Reservations are made to be watched with your girlfriends. “Best date movie” — who are they kidding?
Joelle said in the early afternoon on July 28, 2007
Dog toys seen at the mall.
Joelle said at some point on July 27, 2007
Despite my achey bruise-fest, I had to step out of the house this morning to run some errands. My crappy radio is stuck on one of those Clearchannel pop stations with the chatty morning jocks who have names like Wild Al and the Morning Zoo or whatever. (It’s actually Jeff n’ Jer — I went to high school with Jer’s daughter… or was is Jeff’s? I can’t recall.)
Anyway, so the topic of one of their segments was about the top five movies you can watch over and over and never get sick of them. They don’t even have to be cinematic masterpieces or even your favorite movies of all time. They’re just those movies that whenever they’re on, you’ll watch them. Even if you just watched it yesterday. Or one of those movies you put in for a pick-me-up, even if you’ve seen it 30 times. This is hard for me because I watch a lot of Girl Movies. I call them Girl Movies because the term “Chick Flick” conjures images of period movies starring Gwyneth in a hoop skirt or like, The Bridges of Madison County
or The English Patient or something. Girl Movies to me are 98% romantic comedy, like 13 Going on 30 and The Holiday and 2% drama, like The Lake House or The Notebook. (Yes, I’ve seen it. Yes, I like it and I’m only mildly embarrassed to admit that.)
So, given that I watch all my Girl Movies a billion times in addition to the myriad other films I’ve seen and re-seen, it’s hard for me to narrow it down to five, but I’ll give it a go. Here are my Top Five Movies I Will Watch Over and Over (in no particular order):
- The American President
I’ve seen this movie so many times, I can practically recite it along with the cast. I think Annette Benning is just charming and believable and I could only dream of a government where a president actually had integrity. Ah, Hollywood.
- Office Space
I have seen this movie 80 billion times. It was filmed in Dallas (so I love to pick out places I recognize.) It’s an icon of pop culture, it’s pieces of flair, it’s the breast exam on Channel 9, it’s those “fudge-packers” that like Michael Bolton’s music, it’s Lumberg and the TPS reports, it’s the red stapler, it’s the jump to conclusions mat, it’s the O-Face. It’s Office Space. It never gets old. Never.
- The Cutting Edge
OK, this one I’m kind of embarrassed to cop to. Hey, it’s a throw-back to my youth, OK!? This hokey ice skating romantic comedy (kind of) starring D.B. Sweeney (who I think looks like Tim) and Moira Kelly’s eyebrows is just one of those movies that can run in the background. I don’t even watch that much figure skating during the Olympics, but I like this movie. And I love that I can say “Tooooepiiiiiiiick!” to Kathy and it sends her into giggles.
- Sideways
I never get tired of this movie. It’s not even all that uplifting, really, but it’s just so good. It’s beautifully shot, Paul Giamatti is fantastic, Virginia Madsen is not only superhot, but her monologue about what she thinks about when she drinks wine is even hotter. Plus, it was filmed a bit in San Diego and they drive past my house in the beginning (kind of). hee! I might have to put that in today...
- Mean Girls
Granted, this movie is kind of like ”our movie”. Kathy and I quote it constantly and the writing is just hilarious. Lindsey Lohan was even sober! Wonders never cease. I love Tina Fey and this movie really showcases what kind of chops she has as a comedy writer. Two thumbs up. (I have a whole long list of Girl Movies that could probably fill this spot.)
- Alternate: High Fidelity
Mmmm… John Cusak being angsty and geeking out about music. What more could I ask for? A half-naked Catherine Zeta-Jones, that’s what. And Lily Taylor! And a great soundtrack… and...
- Alternate-Alternate: Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
Totally tasteless humor. It’s Cheech n’ Chong meets American Pie, but… better writing. Very Odyssey-esque, stangely.
Hey, I warned you these weren’t going to be art or anything. They’re not all high quality films, they’re just movies that if on and there’s nothing else I care to see, I’ll watch — the kind of movie that gives you comfort in some way or is just familiar enough to pass the time.
So tell me, Internet… what are your Top Five? (If you choose to answer on your blog, make sure to trackback, so I can see!)
Joelle said before her coffee on July 26, 2007
I have a history of falling; stairs, floors, ladders… you name it, I’ve probably fallen from or off of it. Over the years, I’ve developed a minor fear of falling because of this — not enough to keep me from doing things, but enough to occasionally make me bust a few tears when I do fall because it scares me so badly.
When I was about 6 years old, my younger cousin and I were playing in front of my house where there were 20 wide cement stairs that led all the way down to the sidewalk. About halfway down, for whatever reason, my cousin shoved me and I fell to the bottom, twisting my left ankle beneath me.
When I was 11, I had a not-very-nice nanny/housekeeper who threw me down some stairs. That was fun.
When I was 16, while working as a courtesy clerk at Vons, a local grocery store, I slipped on a soapy meat department floor while cleaning it and landed flat on my back, hitting my head and knocking myself unconscious. Oh, and I twisted my same ankle under one of those big rolling meat racks.
When I was 17, at the same grocery store I worked at, I fell down about 6 stairs in the back room while stopping by to get my paycheck on my off-day. The heel on my shoe caught in the hem of my pants and I toppled head-first down the stairs, busting my left kneecap and again, spraining my left ankle.
When I was 22, I fell off a leaning ladder about 4 feet to the ground. The rung underneath my right foot was faulty and it fell right off the ladder.
Just last year I fell in the parking lot of Home Depot in the rain, wearing a skirt and pulled a Britney on a table-full of workmen eating hot dogs. Good times!
And most recently, last night, as I was carrying a plant out to my front porch, greeting GFI for our evening beer chat in the front yard. With my back to the stairs and a houseplant in my right hand, my left foot slipped and off I went! I started to fall backwards and tried to grab the railing, missed, then tried again as I fell backwards down 3 stairs. I finally managed to get a hold of it, but, it doesn’t end there, no....
I couldn’t seem to get my footing, so I kept falling and my whole body swung to the left, still holding on to the railing with my left hand for dear life. I let go when I realized I was going to fall forward anyway, so I could put my hands up and protect my head. I toppled head-first down one more landing, hitting full force on my left side, primarily my shoulder and hip, about an inch from cracking my skull on this big decorative rock we have out there. During all of this, somehow, I smashed my netherbits “Funniest Home Videos"-style against the last cement step I fell down (I’m still not entirely sure how. I’ve tried to figure it out and can’t.) and skidding a little… enough for me to note in my head as I landed, “That’s going to leave road rash.”
Poor GFI was standing there with her beer in one hand, smokes in the other, staring at me going “Oh my god! Oh my god, Jo-Jo! Are you ok? That was like slow-motion!” (Yes, she calls me Jo-Jo. You may not.) “What hurts? What’s broken?!” My response? Basically, it was “Ow, my vagina!”
In hindsight, that’s pretty damn funny.
Anyway, so she kvetches and freaks out. I kvetch and freak out. We discuss how I almost smashed my head on the rock and are amazed that I didn’t come away with more injuries. After I hosed off the dirt and had a beer, I felt better. I’m stiff and my neck is jacked up pretty badly. I think I mildly sprained my left wrist. There are a few scratches down my forearm and what I think are going to be some really delicious bruises down the left side of my body, but overall, I’m alright.
Note to those who dare have a relationship with me: If I say I’m falling for you, there’s a good chance I mean that literally.
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