I had a terrible nightmare last night about Lulu.  I rarely have nightmares and I’m not sure why I had this particular one, but for some reason I was in a car on the freeway and Lulu was running in a wide grassy median between the two sides of road.  She was terrified and sprinting faster than I ever thought rabbits could go… I was driving really fast, trying to catch her and I could never keep up no matter how fast I drove.

Suddenly, much like a macabre video game, predators appeared in the median… wolves, coyotes, a German shepherd… she dodged them all, leaping over them, diving under them and still we kept speeding along.  Finally, a big bear swatted her to the ground when she tried to jump past it and the terror in her eyes are absolutely horrifying. I watched the bear sniff her butt fluff, while her nose ran with tears (that’s what happens when she’s really scared) and her eyes darted wildly around.

My car had stopped, I guess. I don’t know what happened to the car at this point, but I stared absolutely petrified and helpless while the bear tore into my little bun and I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t make any sound, I couldn’t move… at least not in my dream. I woke myself up with my shouts, though.  I knew I was having a nightmare, but it was so real, I couldn’t believe it.  I was compelled to get up and check on Lulu, but I knew she was fine, so I tried to go back to sleep.

But that scene kept replaying in my head whenever I closed my eyes and then I found myself crying about it, so I finally got up and checked on her.  I found her snuggled on her little carpet with her head in the food dish, half asleep — of course.  I’m sure there’s some kind of dream analysis that says something about my biological clock or other malarkey, but I’ll chalk it up to Quizno’s for dinner.

Then this morning I watched Barack Obama get sworn into office and a surprising and massive sense of relief swept over me. I’ve considered myself not a very political person, but so many subjects have passionately moved me in the last few years, and of course, the economy effects everyone.  I’ve found myself more involved in the news and politics than ever before, but I didn’t really understand just how much stress the Bush administration had put on us, as a country… as individuals.

*deeeeeeeep breath*

There now. I feel better.

Clearly, I’m doing some housecleaning. In the meantime, enjoy this little video I made of Lulu’s first Christmas. The light was low, so the quality was iffy in some spots, but I think it lends a certain nostalgic charm.

Happy Christmas!

p.s. I’m also running all my feeds through Feedburner now. While I’ve switched platforms and will be redirecting my old link to the new link, in the meantime, it would be great if you could update your feed. Thanks!

But, I refuse to give it up. I just can’t bring myself to do it.  Sure, I write a lot more on Yelp and Twitter lately and of course, sometimes on Moxie Design Studios, but this is my blog… so much of my current existence is wrapped up in blogs that not having one of my own would be like separating Linus from his blanket. Sure, I’ve changed the name twice, but I eventually came back to where I started.

Blogging is a weird thing… it’s changed so much and I think one’s expectations regarding blogging have changed. A lot of us have been blogging since ads were considered “sell-out”, when the idea of a fancy design was having some celebrity photo slapped in your banner, when people actually commented in order to get traffic and everyone (including myself) didn’t lurk via RSS feed.  Now, while progress is good and I’m on board with it, I get a little nostalgic for those times… when blogging didn’t feel so cliquey and I met some of the best people I’ve ever known.

I love blogging. I am a blogger. I cannot separate myself from that label, despite my recent waning of interest in writing about myself.  There’s a certain element of “people pleasing” that happens when you blog and while I’ve never been a balls-out, emotional blogger sharing intimate details, I do feel myself holding back sometimes, feeling the need to keep up “appearances”… though I’m not sure what appearances those would be. And because I find that’s disingenuous, I just choose to not blog at all.  I’d rather shoot my mouth off in 140 characters or less.

My focus has been work lately. I’m determined to stay on schedule if it kills me. I want to take the holidays off for once.  I want to bake things and go to parties and travel to see friends… so if that means I have to bust ass 12-14 hours a day to make that happen, so be it.  Next up!  4-day work weeks… but we’ll save that experiment for 2009.

I’m also working on some side projects that I’ve wanted to do for a long time… Put Down the Donut is one and finally it’s starting to take shape (and it’s so cute, if I do say so myself). I wish I’d never shut it down in 2005, but I think having it back will be good for me. It might inspire me to write more. Plus, I’m going to have a great ratings database for exercise DVDs and products, so that should keep my ass moving at the very least. Kathy’s been busy working on SafeMama and now Lovely Safemama (and loving it!), so it’ll be nice to have a side-project or two to keep me inspired.

I’m also starting another site called Lulubun which is still in the creative development stage, but will be a one-stop resource for stylish urban buns and their owners.  I had such preconceived notions about owning rabbits, for some reason.  I pictured big wooden hutches outside, bales of hay and poop akimbo.  But that’s really not the case.  Having a new bunny has really opened my eyes to how much fugly and/or poorly thought out stuff there is in the marketplace for rabbits and other small animals. House bunnies are so much cleaner than I thought they were, but the products DO make everyone look a little ‘country’.  What if that’s not your taste? Should you not benefit from having a house bun? They’re a great alternative if you’re allergic to cats and/or your landlord won’t let you have a dog, plus… well, just look at her.  Bunny!

Using a little ingenuity and design sense, there are ways to create an environment that isn’t an eyesore and is actually cute.  Just because you have a rabbit, there’s no reason to live like it’s a hoe-down, for pete’s sake.  I’m also working on design and manufacturing concepts for products that I feel that could be new to the pet market as well as improvements upon existing products.

I also feel that there’s so much misinformation online about rabbit care.  There’s a lot of great info, too, especially from the House Rabbit Society. But there’s a lot more out there, everyone has an opinion and not all of them are reliable.  I’m going to be interviewing my vet (and possibly others) about basic rabbit care, what to expect when you get your first bun, reading their behaviors and other stuff all in one pleasant place, like I wish I had when I was trying to figure it all out.  Yes you can find this information online, but sometimes it’s scattered, not clearly organized or just plain inaccurate.

I’m not sure how I got on that tangent.  But look, I blogged!

I’ve also been consumed with bunny-rearing.  There have been many new developments since I last posted about Lulu.  Firstly, she wasn’t 8 weeks old when I got her from the breeder.  After having her 2 weeks, (so 10 weeks old by my count), I took her to the vet for a well-bunny check-up, to make sure she didn’t need any shots, confirm her age, weight and general health.  I found out that she likes to ride in the car (the vibrations put her to sleep), she doesn’t like the sound of parrots (my vet is an avian and exotic animal vet) and she was still under a pound in weight (she was weighed in a tupperware container!). 

The doctor checked her out and said she appeared to be healthy. I told him, somewhat ashamed, since I know how many rabbits need adopting out there, that I got Lulu from a breeder at the swap meet.  (This is something I’m also kind of embarrassed about, since seriously… what kind of naive doofus gets their bunny from the swap meet, no questions asked? What, am I eleven-years-old?) Anyway, the nurse and the doctor exchanged looks and I felt extra silly. But that didn’t stop them from cooing over her cuteness.

So I asked two questions:  1) what kind of rabbit is she? (The breeder told me a Netherland Dwarf, which only grow to 3 lbs or so.) and 2) how old is she really? (Because I just had this feeling about it…) Well, the vet openly laughed when I said the words “dwarf rabbit”.  He apologized, but said that it’s a “thing” with this guy at the swap meet.  I guess the breeder pulls the bunnies at 4-6 weeks (when 8 weeks is the minimum age to wean from a mama rabbit), then tells everyone they’re 8 week old dwarf bunnies because they’re so tiny.  The vet said he thought based on the size and weight of her, that Lulu was only 6-7 weeks old (a little over 7-8 weeks, as I type this).

Apparently this breeder also has been known to sell bunnies with intestinal parasites and the vet told me that they’ve even lost a couple of this guy’s bunnies (lost as in dead, muerto, bunny heaven), which didn’t do much for my new bunny owner anxiety.  So we ran some tests on her poop (which I delivered in a Ziploc bag… how glamorous! Where’s my Cosmo?) and she’s fortunately just fine.  He also said it was unlikely she’s a Netherland Dwarf.  There’s a chance she might be a dwarf mix of some kind, but he’s fairly certain she’s just a garden-variety bunny, of which there are many, many varieties. It won’t be until she’s older that we’ll be able to really tell.  So there’s that.

To say I was angry about the breeder is an understatement. I was furious, not for me (though a 6- or 7-pound rabbit isn’t what I had in mind), but for Lulu.  She should never have been taken from her mama rabbit so young. She didn’t have enough time to develop all the immunities she needs, which can be a cause of the parasites, the vet said.  It made me sad for her.  And I felt stupid and duped and naive and generally pissed off.

But, I love Lulu and I’m committed to her. I went to BunnyFest on Saturday and saw rabbits on leashes. Leashes! And they were loving the grass, hopping all around and investigating all the goings-on.  I didn’t take Lulu, she’s still too young yet, but next year I may. (I know, I can’t believe these words are coming out of my mouth either.)

She has, however, almost outgrown her little bunny condo. It won’t be long now… one more growth spurt and that’ll be Craigslisted.  I went out this weekend and got her a gate-like pet pen which will eventually become her new home.  Watching her run around and sprint and do hoppity bunny dances made me so happy, which was the weirdest thing. I was just so happy I could give her what she needed. Watching her try to run around and play in that cage was killing me. She needed more space… and now she has it.  I sacrificed my dining area, storing my World Market table and chairs under my bed and replacing it with a moderate eyesore, but she’s happy, so strangely, I am, too. It’s ain’t stylish, but it’s worth it.

And she hasn’t peed on my green bamboo mat from Thailand yet, so hey… there’s that, too.

Kathy wanted to see her little orange nose and feet (a result of her totally annihilating a baby carrot earlier), so I filmed her for a second while she munched on some cilantro.  Please excuse my occasional cooing and poor cinematography.

And despite how cute Lulu is and how sweet she is and her little bunny feets, the best part thus far has been Kathy’s response via text when I told her that I just bought a rabbit.