Me: and drink Sunny D from the carton and demand to know where their Pizza Rolls are?
Me: and you waltz in with a strategically positioned bag of Doritos and they all exclaim how you’re the best mom in the world?

Kathy: something like that
Kathy: only I’ll tell them to make their own damn pizza rolls and I wont be wearing a matching sweater set

Me: well, you DO drive a mini van… it’s a gateway stereotype. Next you’ll be getting drunk at 3 in the afternoon while your kids nap. Oh… wait…

Kathy: i dont drive a minivan THANK YOU

Me: I love that that is the part you took offense to.

Hey, We Wrote That!

Kathy and I decided to forego SXSW this year so we could attend a conference that allows us to meet n’ mingle with our clients and other lovely people likely to be potential clients and friends… BlogHer.

We were supposed to go together, but she’ll be delivering another kidlet right during that time, so I’ll be flying solo.  I was just going to go to hang out and observe, but I’ve reconsidered and decided to throw my hat in the ring to host a panel, but not really a panel because it’s just me. A session, they call it.

I wanted to call it “When Your Blog Has That Not-So-Fresh Feeling”, but I decided at the last minute to call it “Blogging with Moxie”… you know, what with the book n’ all.  I figured I could go over topics from the book and do a lot of Q&A and maybe some on-the-spot blog critique and tip-offering, if anyone was interested.

Or I could just sit there and drink coffee if no one shows up.

I’m not stuffy, in case you hadn’t noticed, so my session won’t be either. It’s not going to be boring, it won’t be explicit insert tab A into slot B, it won’t be overhead projectors with code all over it.  It would be more intimate, more relaxed, fun, if you will.

I’m open to questions and basically… dishing.  About blogging. And all the merriment that comes with it, like the obvious design tips and some technical stuff like, what exactly does an RSS feed do? which blog platform is right for me?  where should my ads go?  But also things we’ve gleaned over our six years in this business, like how to handle blog drama, blog etiquette, choosing a topic, how to keep people enchanted with your bad self… that sort of thing.  I’m considering some kind of game or quiz and of course… prizes.  Everything is better with prizes.

If you are going to BlogHer (or even if you’re not), I’d welcome your input on my session idea. You can let BlogHer know you’d attend by visiting this link.

Kathy: does it have to be a horse?
Kathy: or could it be like a buffalo
Kathy: or a wooly mammoth
Kathy: or
Kathy: a dead chicken

Joelle: “dead chicken on you!” does have a nice ring.

Kathy:  decomposition brings a new aspect to it.

Of course, no travel is complete without a little drama. As soon as I landed last night, I received a metric ton of emails from a client panicking because his site was displaying the WordPress install screen.  I *just* finished his site and signed off completely on it yesterday. It was beautiful, perfect even. In fact, I was pretty impressed with myself!  That’ll teach me. I go away one day and the sky falls.

Normally, I don’t totally freak out about such things because that’s just the nature of the Internet. Things happen. You put in a support ticket and hash it out. But the poor client was at his wit’s end. He’s great, though, I really like the client… he’s just not jaded by the wonky workings of the Internet yet and is new to blogging so it sent him into a multi, multi, *multi* email tailspin.  I had to call Hostmonster and Troy, who is the most patient man on Earth, listened to me rant and carry on. I think there were tears at one point. I explained that I’d been up all night, that I’d been traveling for 7 hours and that I just got off a plane and asked him for forgive me my temporary psychosis.  He was so gracious about it. Kudos to you, Troy at Hostmonster.

Anyway, Troy said he couldn’t help me technically because they don’t support WordPress, but he said he would “take a peek”. I submitted an official ticket to support and told the client that what can be done is being done and that if nothing was resolved by this morning that I would call again.  Well, this morning I was greated with an email from the client that the site was back online, nothing was lost and hallelujah, I can stop drinking antacids.  Thank you, Hostmonster! (Seriously, I love Hosting Matters — we’ve hosted with them for years and years, but I must say that Hostmonster deserves epic accolades.)

Ok, Kathy is back from putting Reilly down for a nap and now we’re off to the movies to see Twilight.  I could go for some popcorn….

This weekend was some of the best fun I’ve had in a long time. And the most stuff I’ve done in a long time, too. We had very full and busy days the entire time she was here. From the moment her plane touched down, it was lunch at the Prado, Grey Goose and a piano bar at Martinis Above Fourth, karaoke at the Lamplighter, TMI about a stranger’s areola, some eggs benedict, a harbor ferry, an almost-purchased Dr. Seuss painting, a bunch of maritime crap, a whole bunch of laughing, a lot of “Yay!!”-ing and clinking of glasses, a dash of Eurotrash, some twigs and berries, one hangover pizza and a handful of girl movies.  Oh, and excessive quoting of the movie “Knocked Up”.

I think the best part of Kathy being here was spending time with her (of course!) and many of our friends. Our cocktail party at Lei Lounge was faaaabulous and I think a more-than-good time was had by all. Much, much more. I’m not naming names or anything, but the offending drink was pink.

I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. I really, really needed that. Thank you to everyone who was able to make it — it meant a lot to have you there.

Naptime is imminent, but I will close with a little gem that Daniel and Richard shared with us. We can’t stop quoting this either.  If you’re sensibilities are delicate, you’ve been duly warned.  Don’t bother trying to make sense of it, just enjoy.

I’m a pirate.

This nicely sums up the next 5 days.  I can’t wait until Kathy gets here!  It’s officially our vacation, but I know we’re going to end up talking shop at some point.  We have too many ideas we want to dish about and when we only see each other once a year on average, we’ll take any opportunity we can get.

It’s first and foremost time off, but it’s a lot easier to talk shop with a side of margaritas, don’t you think?

Joelle: I want mexican food.

Kathy: I want a smoothie and a big rubber fist.

Joelle: I either hear someone’s vibrator… or an electric guitar.

Kathy: What if it’s both?

Joelle: Whoa, it’s Blogasm 2.0!    Remember that old site?  http://truehookupconfessions.com/

Kathy: “I never got a BJ when I was single. Now I’m married, and my wife doesn’t do it. Somehow I feel like I’ve lived an incomplete life. Isn’t every guy entitled to at least one BJ in his life?”

Kathy: DUDE.

Joelle: Dude.

Joelle: Your wife is a bitch.

Kathy: totally!!!

Joelle: “please let me get laid today”

Kathy: damn, people are horny!

Kathy: “I want to try anal with my new fella but last time it was awful… there was a mess and it hurt. Someone give me pointers.”

Kathy: here’s a tip….don’t do it in the ass.

Joelle: hahahaha!

Kathy: try your VAGINA.

Joelle: HAHAHA!

Kathy: hahahaha

Kathy: “I love tossing salad, and having it tossed. I get shivers thinking about it.”

Kathy: Remind me not to share drinks with people

Joelle: *puts down fork*

Joelle: I want two or three weiners.

Kathy: doesn’t every woman?