To avoid any pot n’ kettle action, there are really nice people on my own friends list that I rarely engage with either.  I do try to remember birthdays and comment or “like” occasionally, just to let them know I’m paying attention, but I have to wonder… why am I “friends” with them? Because they sat 3 seats behind me in AP English? That’s not fair to them either.

Once I was asked to add an old flame from high school to my friends list.  There was no introductory message (I prefer one), but I knew him on sight, so it was fine.  We dated for most of a year during my junior year of high school and well into that Summer, but eventually broke up. I don’t recall it being a bad break-up, just one of those high school things and over the years had thought of him fondly because above all else, I really liked him. I didn’t just date him, he was my friend.

So of course, I added him and sent him a note saying “hey” and “how are you?” and “what’s going on in your life’?” I commented on his beautiful children, asked about his career and wished him well.

Crickets. Nothing. No reply. No wall post. Not even a lousy “poke”.

What was the point of adding me then?  I’ve felt this way before, had it happen with several “friends” from my past, but this time, it just IRKED me. Why? Why bother? Why seek me out? Why add me to your list? To what end… networking?

I hate “networking”. I think it’s bullshit. I think it’s a term that’s used to leverage your Amway sales or whatever it is you’re slinging.  Most people don’t care about knowing you when they hand you their business card (or add you on Facebook with no introduction). They’re more interested in what you can do for them than what they can do for you. If you’re going to request that I add you, Old Classmate, then bombard me with your weight loss seminars, first: fuck you, second: *unfriend*.

Thanks to Facebook and social media, the line between “abstract business contact” and “friend” have blurred. Once I had someone on my personal friends list for over a year — who never, ever spoke to me — suddenly email me out of the blue via Facebook and ask me for a “good deal” on a website design “and as fast as possible”.  Do people think that because we’re “friends” on Facebook that we’re tight? Do they think that because they “know me”, that they can call on me for a favor?  I highly doubt that someone I met once over stale Chardonnay 4 years ago, but haven’t chatted with since, will  immediately think to recommend me when someone asks them “Hey, do you know any web designers?”  And in turn, when someone I haven’t talked to in 4 years says, “Hey, I need a website. Can you hook me up?” I’d politely and professionally reply, “Yes, certainly. Here are the schedule and rates I’d give to anyone else...”

I also wouldn’t recommend or refer a client or a friend to someone I got a business card for once upon a time without having built a relationship with that person or company first.  I’m not going to put my reputation and name on a recommendation to someone who might be a detriment to my client — that’s not good for my client, my friend or for me. So if you want to network, fine — but then network, don’t just send me app requests to be in your mafia or water your corn.

I have good friends, true friends that I would never take advantage of, why would I ask a favor of someone I never talk to just because they’re “friends” with me on Facebook? I have a friend who is a doctor, but you don’t see me posting on her Wall to ask about that weird pain under my ribs when I breathe in. I have a client who is a vet, but I don’t email her and ask for advice about my rabbit.  These people have careers for which they’re paid and expertise for which they’ve worked hard.  I respect them. I would never dream of exploiting that friendship or client relationship that I’ve taken time to cultivate, why do people think that because they handed me a business card once, I’m at their favor-dropping disposal when they’ve never spoken to me otherwise?

Not that the doctor or vet wouldn’t help me if I asked them to — they’re great people — but they would because we’ve taken the time to develop a relationship beyond Facebook.  For example, I have several developer friends, most of whom I only know because of the Internet, but we freely support each other, ask for help, seek advice, share ideas — but again, those relationships were built over time.

I miss the days when I didn’t know that my high school nemesis just got vajzzled  or whether the baby of that girl I met at that bar that one time had a poopy diaper at the zoo.  I hate getting blanket event invites to seminars and conferences and christenings from people I wouldn’t recognize in a line-up.  I just don’t care. You probably don’t care about my bunny pictures or happy hours at the gay bar, either, so likely you hide me from your stream, just like I hide you from mine.

It’s all very “let’s be friends, but not really” — and frankly, it’s pointless. I don’t need tons of people who don’t care following my life.  Go watch the Kardashians or something.

I also made some absolutely delicious savory muffins… both got rave reviews, so I thought I’d share the recipes I found/modified. I realized after the fact that both of these recipes were chock  full o’ onions of one variety or another… I should have included post-muffin mints.

Heart Attack Hashbrown Casserole

• 1 – 32 oz.  bag of diced hashbrown potatoes (not shredded, Ore-Ida will do)
• 2 cups of grated fiesta-blend cheese
• 1 cup of diced white onions
• 1 – 16 oz. tub of sour cream
• 1 can of condensed cream of mushroom soup (no water)
• 1 stick of butter (salted or unsalted, whatever you’ve got), melted and cooled
• 6-8 slices of crispy center-cut bacon, crumbled or chopped into small pieces
• 1 bunch of fresh chives, chopped finely
• fresh cracked pepper to taste

This is the big one, Elizabeth!

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees.

Get a big bowl — like big, bigger than you think you need big.   Big like you’re going to feed popcorn to a room full of ravenous ‘tweens — that big.  Throw in all the ingredients, get a big wooden spoon and fold it all together.  Takes only a few minutes.

Spread it all into a 9×13 ungreased Pyrex dish or rectangular casserole pan.  Bake for an hour until the top is all bubbly crunchy crusty on the edges.

Let it sit for a few minutes before serving unless you want your guests to consume the potato equivalent of the sun’s surface.

Serves: 4-6 hungry people, 8-10 peckish folks
Calories: 1 miiiiiiiiiiiillion grams of everything.
Source: Modified slightly from an original recipe found on The Wooden Spoon

I also made some muffins that were a HUGE hit… in fact, I might need to make them again today because they were easy, as well as delicious:

Herbed Scallion Goat Cheese Muffins

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tbsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• Coarsely ground black pepper, to taste (I like kind of a lot, but that’s me)
• 2 large eggs, room temp
• 1 cup buttermilk, room temp
• 6 Tbsp unsalted butter, melted and cooled
• 1 bunch scallions, sliced thin
• 5.5 oz goat cheese, crumbled (I chose to use the herbed variety)
• Sea salt, for garnish

Nom nom nom.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees and bust out your 12-cup muffin man… or pan, whatever. The typo amused me to much to change it.

You can either grease the cups or use the little paper liners, but in my experience, if you use the paper liners, give each one a quick schpritz with some non-stick cooking spray in the very bottom anyway.  Otherwise, the cheese sticks a bit to the paper and you have guests scraping their teeth along the paper liners.

If you have a sifter, sift the dry ingredients:  flour, baking powder, salt, and pepper into mixer bowl. If you don’t have a sifter, you can use one of those little net-strainers or you can just make sure you mix up the dry ingredients really well.  I don’t have a sifter and mine came out just fine.

Lightly beat the eggs, then pour them into the dry ingredients. Add buttermilk, melted butter, scallions, and goat cheese. If you have a hand-mixer, mix on medium for a few minutes until all combined. I was too lazy to dig mine out so I just mixed by hand and it took no time at all.

Scoop the batter into the muffin tins.  The consistency is kind of sticky, more like a biscuit that your usual sweet muffin, but it comes out muffin-y.  Sprinkle the tops with a little sea salt, but be mindful to not make it too salty.

Bake for 20 minutes until the tops are golden brown and they feel firm n’ bouncy when you press on the tops.

They cool rather quickly, so if you want to serve them warm, leave them in the pan for 5 minutes, then pull them out and serve.   Otherwise, let them cool completely on a rack and store in a sealed container or whatever for up to 3 days.  But my guess is they won’t be around that long.

Serves: Makes a dozen muffins
Calories: Seriously, who cares?
Source: Confessions of a Foodie Bride