Joelle: is it too early for beer?
Kathy: no
Kathy: its 1:27pm here, that counts.
(about 20 minutes passes)
Kathy: did we decide if its ok to have beer?
Joelle: we did.
Kathy: so its “Miller” time then
Joelle: *cheers*
Cheers to you, too. 
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend. Be safe.
Just now, during our usual “I just mailed your Christmas preseeeeeeeent!” tease we do every year.
Joelle: I think you’re going to be really happy with your gift. It’s solely for you, it indulges no one else but you. It’s for you to totally enjoy and tell everyone else to piss off.
Kathy: do i need to open it in private? my parents will be here. hahahaha!
Joelle: no. lol. it’s all G-rated
Kathy: ok, just checking before I open a giant rubber fist in front of my mother.
Well, shoot! There goes her birthday gift. *sigh*
To preface this snippet of a post-code victory conversation with Deltus this morning, I had to first share with you our Yahoo messenger avatars.
Joelle: well, you will always be our hero. thank you for all you do, Deltus.
Deltus: Welcome.
Deltus: Just, put in a good word for my avatar with your avatar, k?
Joelle: I’ll see what I can do.
Deltus: Kathy’s avatar, btw, said your avatar is a slut.
Joelle: that’s ok, her avatar has crabs
Deltus: My avatar hadn’t heard that.
Joelle: really? I heard her avatar got it from some new avatar in beta.
Joelle: you never know where they’ve been.
Deltus: Her avatar would be the good, proper choice for my avatar to want to go out with. It would make my mom’s avatar very happy. But it’s your avatar he really wants.
Deltus: My mom’s avatar would not be as pleased.
Then, a few minutes later:
Kathy: My avatar told Deltus’ avatar your avatar got the clap from this guy:
Joelle: You bitch! That was supposed to be our secret!
I fully realize no one may be amused by that exchange other than the three of us, but it’s Monday. I’ll take amusement where I can get it.
While taking a little break to do some online holiday shopping, I spent a few minutes salivating over the Vosges truffles with Kathy.
Kathy: dude. chocolate. of. the. month. club.
Joelle: see, every woman should have that. that is the perfect gift.
Kathy: it should be given to you at birth.
Joelle: right? or like, for your first period.
Joelle: it should be a right of passage.
Can you imagine? After your mom (or whomever) gives you a moderately uncomfortable Talk about the Birds and the Bees, followed by a truly horrifying tampon demonstration, she presents you with a congratulatory gift… of chocolate. It seems the least one could do, as really, it’s more of a consolation prize. “You get to bloat, bleed, whine and otherwise act like total psychopath once a month until you’re 50. Mazeltov!”
I’d take it, though — I’m not stupid.
Kathy, on baby showers:
Kathy: Can’t we just show up with our shitcan genie and get drunk? lol
I don’t know about you, but we are of the firm belief that baby showers should be open bar.
So last night, Kathy and I were on IM reminiscing about the “old days” when we first started blogging… when we first met back in 2003. Awww. Kathy pulled out a bunch of photos of this giant inflatable party penis I sent her in the mail. WHY I sent her a giant inflatable party penis, I have no idea. She sent me a tiara. But anyway, I did and hilarity ensued, which you can check out on Kathy’s blog. Bear in mind, that was back in 2004 or so. When you’ve designed 200 blogs in a year with practically no day off, that’s what happens.
So last night,after she posted her entry, I noticed her stylesheet wouldn’t load. For those of you looking at me like I have an extra head on backwards, it means all the “pretty” was missing. It was just a plain black and white site that looked all crazy. And this is the conversation that followed:
(And yes, we’re total blasphemers. You’ll get over it. 
)
Before, our work days usually began with something along the lines of “Good morning, shithead.” followed by a “Good morning, asshole.” (in the most endearing sort of way, I swear.) Then we’d do email.
Now, it goes a little something like this…
Kathy: i smell poop
Kathy: i have poop on me somewhere
Ah, motherhood. Take a whiff.
kathy’s status is now “Tony Bennett – My Favorite Things”. (11/29/2004 10:15 AM)
kathy: My Favorite Things
kathy: is NOT A XMAS SONG
kathy: ASSHOLES
Aaaaaaaaamen. Who decided this was a Christmas song, anyway? I try to be all zen and holiday-like about it when I hear it, but it quietly irks me every time. From a musical. Not a Christmas song. Bah. Humbug.
kathy: we had a tile crisis
me: snakes again?
kathy: yeah
kathy: snakes with feet
me: Oooooooooh
me: you mean lizards!
kathy: and then the number 15 washer showed up
me: really?
kathy: yeah
me: did you put the snakes in it?
kathy: yep, on the spin cycle
me: excellent. that should make for some nice tile.
kathy: very authentic
I am so easily amused.
her: GAAAAAAAAAAA I SUCK
me: awwwwwww
me: you suck bezier!
her: i totally suck bezier
me: hahahahahah
her: heheh
her: my curve looks like a limp dick
me: I just snorted
her: lol
me: that’s like such a designer’s insult
me: “Oh yeah! Well, your bezier looks like a limp dick!”
her: BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
me: “your mama’s a bezier!”
her: i just spit water
Yo, Instagram