Well, That’ll Learn Me

Joelle said around mid-afternoon on August 3, 2004

I just got yelled at for giving a homeless and/or crazy and/or cracked out man some food. I was coming out of Sally Beauty (I was out of shampoo) and I passed him on my way into 7-Eleven for a Diet Pepsi Slurpee.  He was sitting on the ground, rocking back and forth, panhandling for change.  He asked if I had money, which I didn’t (plastic, but I wouldn’t have given him cash anyway), so I said no and went into the store.  I heard him say something about having not eaten as I walked away, so while it could have been bullshit, I figured I’d get him some snacks. So I grabbed a hot dog, a bag of chips, some milk and an apple (might as well make it sort of nutritious, right?).

When I came out, I handed him the sack, and I could see him eyeballing it, surveying the contents, possibly for a forty.  I said, “Here you go, doll.” and started to walk away. He tore into the bag (minus a thank you, but I didn’t really expect one), rocking and mumbling about there finally being someone human in the world.  But, alas, my warm n’ fuzzy was promptly dashed when he screamed out after me, “Apple! APPLE?!  I ain’t got teef, you BITCH! You tryin’ ta be funny!?”

Yes. Yes, sir, I was trying to be funny. I thought to myself, “I think I’ll spend my limited cash on getting your stank ass some dinner; you look like you need it.  But first, I’ll be really clever and get you an apple you can’t eat! Mwahahahhaa!” Insert hand wringing and crazy eyes here.  Actually, it crossed my mind to get him a banana, but given his living situation, I thought the apple might be more durable.  Sue me.  Jeez.

In other news, I was listening to NPR on the way home and I heard that the hearings for Lynndie England are underway.  Good.  Man, I can’t even imagine what it must be to be her right now.  There are no words to describe the shame and humiliation she must feel. Or should feel. Or something.  I’m not good at talking politics and current affairs. I’m going to shut up before I start a brouhaha. Is that how you spell brouhaha?