Video Killed the… Wait, What’s a Video?
Joelle said in the late morning on June 7, 2007
So, I was watching one of those endless, cut-rate celebrity-laden list shows on VH-1 and it occured to me: why do people even make videos anymore? Who sees them? Where do they play?
MTV sure doesn’t play them. Jenny McCarthy and dating show Singled Out paved the way for a deluge of crap. Don’t get me wrong, I have a strange fondness Jenny McCarthy and Singled Out — I’m not sure why. But now it’s nothing but intellectual gems like Pimp My Ride, My Super Sweet 16 and Who Wants to Be a Baby Prostitute? OK, that last one isn’t real, but for a second, I bet you thought it might be. See? They’re that bad.
Then there was MTV2. Oh, OK, this must be where they play the videos. What a crock! It’s all the same crap. In fact, if you visit their website, it’s almost purely advertising.
Alright, fine. VH-1 it is. I really used to love VH-1. I’m a whore for Behind the Music. I could watch a Behind the Music marathon for days if you let me. You couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting a Behind the Music marathon. They claim they still run it, but I’ll be damned if I ever see it actually on. Now it’s just more of the same ol’, same ol’ — list shows about shocking celebrity hairdos (which if they think Andre Agassi’s mullet was shocking in 1991, they really should have brought their camera crew to my local mall) and D-list, hack no-names who have nothing better to do then pass off flaccid, milquetoast critique as comedy. Did they run out of artists that screwed up their lives or something? Cough it up, VH-1! There’s a coke-head, born-again, has-been bass player out there somewhere. Where’s my Behind the Music?!
OK, so there’s Fuse, but I feel too old for Fuse. Not only are they starting to creep into the crappy tv market, but I don’t know who half those bands are. Most of them sound the same to me (though, I’m sure chickrawker would totally disagree) and I find myself wondering where everyone’s mom is. How do you even get your body into pants that skinny? With the exception of OK Go, who I think are fantastic, not only musically, but for their clever foray into YouTube viral marketing, I really don’t connect that much with newer bands.
I’ve never been a huge video watcher, but what happened to them all? Occasionally friends will say something like, “You know, like in that video...” or “Remember that video?” Nope, sorry! But, I do enjoy some from time to time, especially if it’s a great song or if it’s got cool creative direction. Too bad I never find any actually on during waking hours.... I just can’t figure out why they need to blow millions of dollars producing videos no one sees.
So, I’m left with The TUBE music network, which has no real rhyme or reason to it. One minute I’m enjoying some Earth, Wind and Fire and the next it’s Michael Bublé, then it could be Poison for all I know (or, like now, The Alarm). You never know what it’s going to be, which can be fun when there’s nothing on, I guess. Ooo! Ooo! Bryan Ferry’s Slave to Love just came on! La la la la la....
I feel a bit sated, but I’m still pissy about Behind the Music.
Moxie Design Studios™
from Orlando • Cocktail: Sit-Down Straw-Rita
I tend to watch VH1 Classics, if I do watch one of the video networks. Sure, everything is ten years or older, but at least it’s music and not the faux-reality shows the other channels show. You might enjoy their Alternative and Vault blocks of programming.
VH1 regular also has some good music video blocks in the early morning hours from like 3-4am until around 9am (ET).
I never really got into the “Behind the Musics” but I love the “I Love the 70s/80s/90s” specials. I pretty much sit there the entire show going..."I remember that!” LOL
from Houston
I blame “Remote Control.” That was the first non-video show ever played and even through the ending was all guessing videos (whilst being twirled around on a rotating bed--woo!), it wasn’t a video show.
VH-1 plays videos at like, fuckmyass o’clock at night. Nocturnal Emission or something. Okay, so it’s not called that, but it should be.
Personally, with “Behind the Music,” I have a threory on why they don’t show any of them anymore.... I think the partying began to take its toll....
from West Palm Beach, FL • Cocktail: Champagne Bellini
And let is not forget the most entertaining music program on Fuse TV Pants Off Dance Off. Although technically not music videos but, any chance to see weird people strip to songs is good enough in my book.
If I go to the gym at the right time I catch the video portion of MTV’s daytime schedule but its usually rap, and well… I don’t really care what hoochie 30 Cent tapped last night or whatever. But the VH1 Countdown in the morning is ok.
from Mouseville™ • Cocktail: Amaretto Sour
I just bought “Do What You Want” on iTunes the other day and I was all like, “Wait. I’m buying music by ‘these kids today’. Is there really hope again?” But it has to be a fluke. One need only watch Carson Daily for proof of that…
We had the MTV Video Awards on the other night and Todd brought up not only how unremarkable they are now, but how they’re just “there”. One of those things you’d probably miss unless you were surfing the TiVo Guide. They used to be almost as big as the Oscars. When MTV is too out of touch for the age group they’re marketing, it’s time to head back to the drawing board…
from Escanaba, MI • Cocktail: Fabulous-Tini
There are only a few short hours in the wee early morning that I’ll watch MTV. The rest of the crap on there sucks. I haven’t really watch VH-1 ever and since I live in the sticks I can’t say I’ve ever heard of FUSE or The Tube.
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
@Kathy: I almost spit out my beer on 30 Cent. THIRTY. hahahaha!
@robyn: I forgot those were even on. lol.
@Kit-Kat: Fuse and Tube are pretty new, so don’t feel bad.
@Ms. Pants: hahahahahaha! It should be called that!
@zengrrl: I used to like those “I Love” shows, too, but then it started to get repetitive and really, do I care what the guy who was on Last Comic Standing three seasons ago thinks about the Rubik’s Cube? Not s’much. hehe.
Videos used to be Teh Shit back in the day. I remember Friday Night Videos (which were actually on at 1:30am on Saturday), and my brother and I would stay up WAY late to watch it. Awesome.
Videos went the way of hair bands, I’m afraid.
*single tear*
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
@Deltus: DUDE. Remember on the USA Network… what was it called. Uh.... god, what was it called??? They had a thing on Friday nights… was it just Friday Night Videos? I could have sworn it had another name.
from Mouseville™ • Cocktail: Amaretto Sour
I know too much useless 80s trivia.
“Night Flight” - then “Up All Night”. And TBS had “Night Tracks”.
I remember USA would play the uncut Duran Duran videos (like “Girls on Film” and “The Chauffeur") late at night and it was quite scandalous.
from Orlando • Cocktail: Sit-Down Straw-Rita
I think it was called “Nightflight” and it had Nina Blackwood as one of the hosts with Lisa Robinson.
Yeah, some of the people on the “I Love” shows are like “what? Did you go through your whole Rolodex already?” But I love Edwin McCain’s observations and Donal Logue’s extended clips are hilarious.
from Mouseville™ • Cocktail: Amaretto Sour
(By the way, I forgot to add that “Up All Night” was when they switched over to movies.)
from Orlando • Cocktail: Sit-Down Straw-Rita
Oops - Robyn beat me to it. LOL That’s what I get for trying to look up Donal’s name.
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
@robyn: YES. NIGHTFLIGHT!!! hahahahaha! And I remember when they switched to movies, too, because I saw Fright Night on USA when my parents weren’t looking.
@zengrrl: I love Donal Logue.
I gotta ask Joelle, what were your all time favorite videos?
We watched something called Night Tracks - maybe they later changed the name to Nightflight?
I, too, have a strange fondness for Jenny McCarthy. First, it was her hilarious books about parenting, and then, I became obsessed with her cute new hairdo. And once I found out she, too, has an autistic son, I came thisclose to becoming her new stalker.
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
@Laura: she’s also the spokesperson for WW now, so I’m totally down with her. lol.
@Joz: you know, I’m not sure. I have a special place in my heart for ridiculous videos of the ‘80’s such as Tom Petty’s, “Don’t Come Around Here No More” (heh), The Cure’s “In Between Days”, mostly because it’s my favorite song by The Cure, though I do like the rawness of the 1979 video of “Boys Don’t Cry”.
Hmmmm… what else? Hm, I guess I don’t really have any favorites. I didn’t watch enough to form any. Honestly, this 1957 film of Ella Fitzgerald is really more my speed.
from SD CA (this week) • Cocktail: Red Headed Slut
fuse is definitely skewed younger and it is true that a lot of those bands sound the same. i used to watch a lot of fuse, but it’s just as bad as mtv these days.
from Florida
Why do I have the urge to smack that chick in that video?
Oh-a-Oh!
from Michigan
Who Wants To Be A Baby Prostitute just made my morning!
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
@peggy: aw, she’s in high school. cut her some slack!
I think that they don’t have necessarily a lot of vocal talent, but I do think they have something interesting — if nothing more than the biggest sets of balls ever to busk in a tourist spot while playing pop songs on a harp, mandolin and upright bass. haha!
@Tina: hee! glad to help.
from Overland Park, KS
I go to the gym at 5 a.m. around 3 times per week. They play videos at 5 a.m. on MTV. And on VH1, too. And don’t even get me started on CMT! (They play them on there that early as well...)
Thank goodness we have access to the remote at the gym. I’m more a morning news kinda gal when I’m on my eliptical. (Although USA has kicked into their summer schedule, and instead of “Coach” and “JAG” from 5 until 7, they play movies with George Clooney in them these days! Gotta love it!)