Next Season: Tie-Dyed Plus-Size Catsuits

Joelle said around lunch time on September 4, 2007

The other day I saw a woman wearing acid wash, denim-esque spandex bike shorts (with a short top, but that’s not the point).  I can only imagine she bought them at a Wal-Mart or some other equally heinous place that offers low quality, unflattering “American” fashion sewn by Chinese girls for slave wages. But, I digress.

I had to wonder about the marketing and creative meetings that went behind those bike shorts.  I envision a table full of right-wing Wal-mart yahoos, all men, throwing out ideas for the new women’s fashion line.

“We need a short,” some honcho gestures, “that makes our wives looks as sexually unappealing as humanly possible so we can justify sleeping with our secretaries.”

Another guy pipes up, “Right, Jim!  They’ve got to be comfortable or else our wives won’t wear them. How about spandex?”

“Ok, but they should look like something she might wear in public, something she can run to store in.  What if we made them spandex that look like jeans? Denim spandex!”, the first guy says, with awe at his own idea.

Some other low-ranking guy throws in his two cents, “We should make them look stylish.  What about acid-wash denim spandex?!”

Meeting adjourned.

And lo, this woman’s unfortunate outfit was born.  Of course, this doesn’t account for her choice to purchase them and wear them, but hey, that’s on her.  I can’t even imagine a scenario for anything that twisted.