Ho Fo’ Sho’
Joelle said at some point on March 28, 2008
I realized the other night that I’ve reached that stage in my life where bridging the generation gap requires more than just a running jump. I think I need a ski lift or a zip line or something.
While standing in line at the grocery store recently, it occurred to me as I casually perused the trash mags that I had no idea who these girls were on the cover. Or the guys, for that matter. Every blond looked the same. I can’t tell if that one is on The Hills or this one is on Gossip Girl or if what they’re talking about is even a real life, or a show or if it’s fiction. Is The Hills a reality show or a scripted reality show or straight up fiction made to look like a reality show? Reality show contestants are famous simply for being on a game show. Hannah Montana and Mylie Cyrus are referred to as one and the same and High School Musical 2… or is it 8? How did that happen? What happened to High School Musical 1?
It seems like everyone is famous now. There are few true “stars”, but it’s though everyone is a celebrity. And for what? Because they blew a guy who knew a guy who saw Britney’s bits? Come ON! Kim Kardashian is a perfect example. Famous for nothing. Nothing! And yet, I know her name. Why? Why do I know her name?
Who are all these people? And am I the only person who doesn’t have a sex tape? Seriously. It’s like someone opened a hoochie factory and they’re just churning them out by the dozen. Instead of Barbie®, it’s Bimbo® and they all come with matching accessories: sex tape, Brazilian wax and a complete lack of talent.
I remember when I was growing up reading Judy Blume and other books of that ilk that a size 10 was like… normal. Desired, in fact. I recall reading ‘the Perfect Size 10’ on more than a few things in the late ‘70’s/early ‘80’s. I didn’t really know what that meant at the time, but all I knew was size 10 was good. Then, as I got a little older, around 9-12 years, I started reading Sweet Valley High books. The main characters, blond twin opposites named Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield, were “a perfect size 6”. Fine, fine. Six is reasonable!
Now, I realize that times change… people grow, things are different (insert all the crap your parents used to say here), but Ms. Pants pointed out to me this morning that they’re going to be re-releasing the Sweet Valley High series, this time with a more modern take and updated content for the times.
The image below is an excerpt from a letter to the editors from the publishers (via Gawker).
FOUR? Four is “perfect” now? Frankly, I think they’re exaggerating because if 80% of the girls in Hollywood today are size 4, I’m Big Shirl from What’s Happening. I’d say many are well below a size four. They’re picking size four because it sounds better than zero, which is what the reality is in many cases. I think they’re claiming ‘perfect size 4’ because it sounds healthier than saying, “We expect you never to eat again and when you turn to the left, we hope you disappear.”
I heard a girl recently say she was a double zero. 00?!!? I understand that some women are naturally quite thin and that’s great. I don’t hate ‘em. But most people are not zero and the fact that they make such a size makes me want a sandwich. WITH CHEESE. (And a red fiat is way cooler than a Wrangler. Pssh!)
I am so not a militant feminist. In fact, the very idea of that makes me laugh out loud, but it IS alarming to me that the standards of and for women just get harsher and harsher. And it’s not all men that put these demands on women and girls, it’s the women and girls themselves doing it to each other. Growing up I was constantly on a diet, told I needed to lose my baby fat “before it becomes a problem”. Well, guess what? It became a problem and perhaps if I’d not been obsessing about how I wasn’t good enough instead of just loving myself for who I was, that baby fat would have melted away like baby fat does, hence the name.
I have a healthy perspective on food now and a much stronger sense of self and acceptance of who I am than I did when I was 11 or 15 or 20, but I remember how it felt to be that age. It makes me concerned for girls today. If I ever have a daughter, I want her to know that she doesn’t have to be anything other than who she is to be admired, respected and loved. Eat healthy food, move around, play, laugh, read, learn, love, explore, savor, enjoy and dream… that’s all you can do. Whether or not they fit into those skinny jeans they saw on Bimbo of the Moment seriously is not going to matter when they’re trying to get a job in five years.
Of course, they could always make a sex tape…
Moxie Design Studios™
Amen. AMEN!!!
It’s women that do it to themselves, but more specifically, it’s the fashion mags and gossip mags that do it to their readership. As I’ve heard of the fashion industry: it’s a few (mostly) homosexual men telling heterosexual women how they should look. And it started a ways back when the fashion designers didn’t want people looking at the beautiful models, but rather at the clothes they were wearing. So, they started hiring tall, super-thin models who more resembled hangers that they could hang their clothes from. Problem is, nobody told the fashion-consuming public that the models were no longer what women should aspire to look like.
It’s not the want of your average heterosexual man (of which I am a charter, carded member) to have some rake-thin waif who would fly into the wall on the opposite site of the room if they should sneeze hard. They want a woman with, you know, womanly curves. Tits, ass, hips, curves please! Now, as to *how much* curvaceousness, or where particularly, it does differ a bit from guy to guy. But as to what gets the motor running, look to the average porn star, not the average Hollywood “starlet”. Look at that woman hired by Eliot Spitzer at $1000/hr. Curvy and beautiful. And she sure as hell ain’t a size 0.
I was just watching a video on CNN the other day about all these celebrities that are famous for exactly nothing. They were ranting and raving about how dumb it is that people can be famous for nothing, but guess what media? If you didn’t put these people on TV, we would still have no idea who they were! That said, I will admit to indulging in an episode of The Hills from time to time. I won’t Tivo it though, because that is just crossing the line!
Also, whenever I come across size 0 pants (or size 00), I stare at them in awe and wonder just who the hell is wearing these pants. There must be more leprechauns out there than I know about!
from Chicago, IL
yes, yes and YES! Seriously? - Who ARE these people?
Also, remember when a nip-slip was a BIG deal? For shame! Now a nip is commonplace - old news even. What’s next?
You had me at “Big Shirl from What’s Happening”
I give up. It’s all WAY too unrealistic… I’m tired of it. So.Sad.
*eats a bacon cheese burger, or two*
from Tampa, FL
*joins GFI for a bacon cheese burger. With fries.*
pffft.
I LOATHE the media. And Deltus?
“super-thin models who more resembled hangers that they could hang their clothes from” —I nearly PEED.
HAHAHAA.
Great post Joelle. I have often wondered if I was the only one highly annoyed at all of these famous-for-no-reason people.
Word, and word, and word again. First of all, I remember feeling highly inadequate (sp?) when I read the SVH books back in the day, and it as pretty much because of that word “perfection.” I can remember looking in the mirror and seeing birthmarks, and thinking, “Well *that’s* not perfect - *that’s* a mark!” Ugh. I shudder when I think about how hard I was on myself because I didn’t look like the Wakefield twins. (I’m also horrified to admit this out loud.)
But now I think perfection is bullshit. Or maybe more accurately, it’s what you think it to be. Because I think I’m perfect the way I am.
from in yer pants
Dude. Kim Kardashian is famous for fucking RayJay on film and letting him piss on her.
Oh, and for having an ass the size of Brazil.
Montana ain’t got shit on Brazil. (Luckily, Montana comes with an IQ higher than Brazil can even count to.)
from Santa Barbara, CA
Well said!! I was a super thin kid growing up--although that came with its own set of problems. I could never find pants that fit me--if it was small enough to fit my waist, I wound up wearing highwaters. If they fit in length, the waist was HUGE! And then of course came high school, when I could still only fit in children’s sizes--juniors were too big. That was pretty sucky. What high schooler wants to look like a little kid?! Of course, little kids nowadays don’t have this problem, because you can now dress your 3 year old to look like a teenager! Yikes. Though, I think I would’ve appreciated that back then....
I think it sucks that society places such high demands on their young girls to be thin. I have a cousin who is going to be 10 and she is really thin--and sometimes her dad likes to joke that she is fat. Like, does he not understand that she might really take that to heart and, being that she is already really thin, develop a really unhealthy body image and perhaps an eating disorder?! It’s crazy and I don’t think it’s ever ok to talk like that to an impressionable kid, even if you think you are joking.
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
@Jennifer: yeah, my dad thought it was cute to call me “Chubette”. I know he didn’t realize what he was saying, but in hindsight…
from Arkansas
It saddens me that my daughter is going to have even a harder time with body image than I did.
from Miami
You are SO right! I can’t believe this people that by doing nothing, become so famous! I really have been thinking that maybe it’s a good idea to walk around without undies and make my husband take a pic of me getting in my car, to put it on the internet. Maybe someone will notice and put me on EXTRA.[removed]void(0);
By the way I LOVE your website!
Veronica
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
@Veronica: Thanks!
from Tacoma
I don’t remember the exact publishing date and I’m not even sure it was the Ladies’ Home Journal. But once, while doing some research in old magazines in the Seattle Public Library, I found an article published around 1948, about one of the highest-paid fashion models in New York City.
She commanded top dollar because of her “perfect size 10” figure and was booked months ahead by every major fashion photographer in the industry.
If I remember correctly, she lived in New Jersey and was married to a Navy officer with whom she had three children.
Well, Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus are one and the same; same person.
And I personally don’t know where HSM 1 went and I’m already starting to hear about HSM 4 but now HSM 3?? Maybe they don’t like odd numbers.
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
@HMF: Yes, I know they’re one and the same person. lol. I was mocking the fact celebrity persona and self are blurred.
from United States, Hialeah
I found it very interesting.
peerless tv wall mounts hemangioma tumor on lower lip