Delicious Chagrin
Joelle said at some point on March 18, 2008
I’ve mentioned before that one of my many guilty pleasures is watching The Bachelor. I won’t pretend like it doesn’t boost my own ego watching all those desperate bimbos women clamor for the attention of some guy who is just going to dump them when the show is over. I watch self-righteously from my favorite corner of the couch, thinking “I would never do that! I can’t believe these women...wait, rewind!! Did she just bite that beer can open?” I’m a prime time armchair judge and jury when it comes to that show… we all have our thing.
So the new season premiered last night… did anyone watch it? It’s called The Bachelor: London Calling which made my innards recoil on behalf of The Clash. The new bachelor is “a proper English gentleman from London” — some 27-year-old banker guy. I think the producers are overworking the “English gentleman” angle a bit… seriously, they practically had him clicking his heels with an umbrella on London Bridge crying “Pip pip! Cheerio!”. If they’d pushed it anymore I’d have to speculate the bachelor was Mr. Belvedere.
There were more than a few moments when I covered my face with sheer embarrassment for these women. Now, I’m a sucker for an accent, too… I can’t pretend I’m not. 
I blame it being programmed into American DNA, like claiming you’re half-Irish or that french fries are good for you. The girls were all swooning over his accent, though fortunately, no one asked if he was from Australia. If I heard one more bad attempt at an English accent I would have had to turn it off. Though, I will say his attempt at an American accent made me laugh out loud.... because we totally sound just like that. He wasn’t far off, at least for us West Coasters.
He seems like a nice enough guy and at least he had the good common sense to find the soused blonde with the tramp stamp as abhorrent as everyone else. Seriously, do you really expect to find true love, the man you want to marry, the man you want to grow old with by stuffing your trashy knickers in his pocket while slurring incoherently in his ear? Yes, that’s always been my approach. Nothing says “Mom, this is the woman of my dreams” like the Frederick’s of Hollywood clearance bin.
Don’t get me wrong. Frederick’s says something… but it ain’t that.
Moxie Design Studios™
from Michigan
I admit to watching The Bachelor!
I was wincing too for The Clash! I mean, come on! And while he is quite handsome and I do love the accent, they are totally overdoing it with the English gentleman thing.
And those girls! I mean, I would love to fall in love right now and get the idea of looking for the one. But seriously? Are these girls serious? Its so ridiculous...but I love it!
The dancing montage at the very end made up for all of it, though.
So, perhaps we need a regular Tuesday discussion.
I can’t believe this show is still going. Ugh. Frankly, if he’s such an eligible catch, how could he be desperate enough to want to hook up with a woman desperate enough to go on this show? It a paradox, I tells ya!
from NM
I like the ocean. Seriously. I have my bachelors in nutrition and I like the ocean.
from Canada
aaaaaahahahhaa @ ‘Mr. Belvedere’ !
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
@lushy: I nearly fell off the couch on that one. I seriously thought she was going to shove her foot in his crotch.
Dude.
The chick who took a chunk out of a can with her teeth.
And let’s not forget-- THE CLARINET.
That was the best first night in bachelor history, I think and I never thought I’d say that after the girl who busted out her webbed feet for Brad.
If I weren’t so tired, I’m sure I could think of a great joke using “Cheeri-ho!” instead of “Cheerio!”, but I AM tired, so you’ll just have to know I was trying to get that out for you.
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
@amy: thank you. A beer for effort!
Gah, I missed it. I’m too busy watching the best show on television, Rock of Love 2.
from Minnepolis, MN
(Longtime reader, elusive commenter...HI!!)
I just wanted to point out that said panties were not actually shoved in Mr. Belvedere’s pocket. Slutty McHoPants attempted to, but Mr. Belvedere calmly responded something to the effect of:
“Ummm...that’s great but these trousers don’t have pockets...”
I recall this quite vividly as it was was at this point that I lost all faith in humanity.
I am a reality television junkie to the core. I missed the Bachelor, so I must find it to set the DVR (which is the most wonderful invention of late). Thanks for the update.
Yeah, what the heck is wrong with these hunky “catch of the season” guys that they can’t find a date for themselves?? Is it just the process and having 25 beautiful (though wildly inappropriate) women fawn over him?
from USA
Thanks for such a nice post
Gr8 work
Keep on going