Because They Don’t Have a “Shut Up, You Idiot.” of the Month Club

Joelle said around mid-afternoon on November 28, 2007 while listening to Blossom Dear - 'Deed I Do

While taking a little break to do some online holiday shopping, I spent a few minutes salivating over the Vosges truffles with Kathy.

Kathy: dude. chocolate. of. the. month. club.

Joelle: see, every woman should have that. that is the perfect gift.

Kathy: it should be given to you at birth.

Joelle: right? or like, for your first period.

Joelle: it should be a right of passage.

Can you imagine?  After your mom (or whomever) gives you a moderately uncomfortable Talk about the Birds and the Bees, followed by a truly horrifying tampon demonstration, she presents you with a congratulatory gift… of chocolate.  It seems the least one could do, as really, it’s more of a consolation prize.  “You get to bloat, bleed, whine and otherwise act like total psychopath once a month until you’re 50.  Mazeltov!”

I’d take it, though — I’m not stupid.

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Tags: chocolate, Kathy, NaBloPoMo, snippets, The+Moxie+Girls
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United States
Picture of kat kat on November 28, 2007 at 5:09pm

That would work for me, especially today of all days!  Where do I sign up?

Canada
Picture of Louise Louise on November 28, 2007 at 5:42pm
from Canadia

Hmmm… maybe if we talked to the Vosges people really nicely, they would become Official Sponsors to the Womanly Rite of Passage?

United States
Picture of zengrrl zengrrl on November 28, 2007 at 6:06pm
from Orlando • Cocktail: Sit-Down Straw-Rita

I swear I must be the only woman I’ve ever known/met who doesn’t care about chocolate. Oh, I’ll eat an M&M;if it’s in front of me, but I’ve never craved chocolate and I almost always tend to go for non-chocolate types of candy/desserts.

And the thing is people keep giving me chocolates as gifts. My roommate usually benefits from it all. LOL

United States
Picture of Geggie Geggie on November 28, 2007 at 7:53pm
from Norfolk, VA

I bought a Goji Bar and a Woolloomooloo Bar today.

I’ve tasted pretty much all of them, even the Bacon Bar!  My faves are the Naga and the Goji.

United States
Picture of Icyshard Icyshard on November 28, 2007 at 7:54pm
from Santa Barbara, CA

OMG, did you actually get a demonstration?  Do most girls get one??  I never did--I just assumed that’s why every box includes those diagrams!

United States
Picture of lani lani on November 28, 2007 at 9:43pm

Or maybe mom (or whomever) could skip the whole uncomfortable talk and just hand you the gift box of chocolates and Chocolate of the Month Club membership with one of those diagrams Icyshard’s talking about in it.  I was on my own when it came to learning about this stuff so chocolates would have helped.  A LOT.

United States
Picture of geeky geeky on November 29, 2007 at 6:56am

Where do I sign up? I heart Vosges.

United States
Picture of Kathy Kathy on November 29, 2007 at 7:36am
from West Palm Beach, FL • Cocktail: Champagne Bellini

I wonder if they can time your delivery date each month to coincinde with your PMS schedule.

Speaking of… *checks calendar*

United States
Picture of amy t. amy t. on November 29, 2007 at 1:02pm

I’ll tell you what… A chocolate club membership would have been much more appreciated (and much less mortifying) than the flowers my dad had delivered to the house made out to his “little woman.”

It’s been 18 years and I’m STILL mortified by that.

Germany
Picture of Deltus Deltus on November 29, 2007 at 10:43pm

Um, that got me to thinking… it’s usually the mother’s job to give the daughters “the little talk”, right?  Right??

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