Bad Beer, Bad Beer, Whatcha Gonna Do?
Joelle said around dinner time on July 21, 2007
GFI and I hit 7-11 tonight to pick up some beer for one of our evening dish sessions on the terrace. She picks up Skinny Dip, the summer brew by New Belgium, the makers of Fat Tire. Good stuff, fine fine. I, in a major momentary lapse of reason, bought a 6-pack of Miller Chill. Allow me to the be the first to say, “Joelle, what were you thinking?” Seriously.
My Default Beer is Stella Artois. It’s almost always in my fridge. When I go to pubs, I usually drink Guinness. I have no idea what possessed me to buy this beer. Limited selection, maybe… I don’t know. I don’t drink Miller of any variety, really, so I’m not sure why I thought this would be good. Both GFI and I were like, “Hm… maybe it’s good. Should we try it? We could try it… OK, what the hell?”
What the hell, indeed. Miller, this beer genuinely sucks. It sucks more than any other beer you have made. It’s tremendous, boundless, colossal, elephantine ass. I couldn’t even finish the bottle and GFI practically begged me to not leave it in her fridge. We stood there for a few minutes, trying to figure out a place I could unload it.
“Leave it for the landscaping guy?” GFI suggested.
I said, “I could leave it by the curb. You think? It’s gay pride weekend, surely someone will pick it up...”
GFI said, “Leave it by the dumpster and tie some chicken to it, maybe someone will take it...”
That was my favorite, by the way. Tie some chicken to it.
Miller, you know you’ve made some crap beer if you have to bribe someone to take it off your hands by tying hunks of chicken to it. Now c’mon… that’s just sad.
Moxie Design Studios™
I don’t think I’ve yet tried an American-brewed beer that was worth a fuck. In this case, though, the name itself should tell you it’s suckage. Chill? Miller Chill? Yoish.
Keep it, though. Get one of those bee traps that you fill will beer or orange juice and the bees can fly in, but they can’t fly out. I fill mine with beer, and then two bigs tablespoons of sugar. Attracts bees like flies. Um, yeah… like flies.
from SD CA (this week) • Cocktail: Red Headed Slut
you obviously missed my previous slamming of miller chill. when we were at 94/9’s show, they were giving out free samples. even the hot (allegedly) chicks swilling it couldn’t make people drink that shit.
so, word to the wise. american micro-brews are good. any other american beer = bad.
(p.s. we shall erase the memories of the bad alcohol with good alcohol on monday!!!)
I tried Miller Chill last weekend and had the same reaction. Blech. I always drink Guinness or Bass myself, but love trying new imports. You might appreciate this, though… a few weeks ago I was at a sub and pizza shop called Milano’s, and they have a beer on the menu called New Holland The Poet Oatmeal Stout. Creamy stout with hints of coffee and chocolate. Haven’t tried it yet, but it sounded right up my alley.
from Louisville, OH • Cocktail: White Russian
I’m glad I read this before I went to the grocery store. I saw an ad for Miller Chill last night and actually thought it may be good. I don’t even like beer, so I don’t know what I was thinking.
from FL
I’ve never been a beer kinda gal myself but perhaps the pretty bottle got your attention? Blame it on pretty girlie things. That gets my attention every time.
chickrawker: any recommendations as to which US micro-brew I could try next time I’m in the US?
from SD CA (this week) • Cocktail: Red Headed Slut
deltus - depends on where you go and if you want to find the beer in a store or go to a restaurant. i’m pretty familiar with portland and seattle microbreweries along with the ones in san diego. actually with my travels i could probably give you regional beers.
for example - yeungling in pennsylvania (i had it in NY too), brooklyn brewery in NYC, any of the mcmenamins in portland, pyramid in seattle.
um, yeah, i drink lots of beer when i am not at home....
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
@Deltus: if you’re ever in San Diego, get Karl Strauss. It’s brewed right here and has a nice variety of truly great beer. There’s also the San Diego Brewing Co. They have some good stuff, too. (And wicked cheese fries!) I like their blueberry beer. It sounds sweet and gross, but it’s light and crisp. Delicious!
Sam Adams is a nice “national” microbrew. I guess it still classifies as a microbrew… I’m not sure. In Texas and the south, look for Shiner Bock, also available in grocery stores and whatnot. Mmm… I miss Shiner.
Like, chickrawker said there are lots of microbrews you can get in various cities from their own local breweries.
I just don’t understand the concept. They’re saying “Chelada” is a style with lime and salt. I get the lime part, but don’t you put salt in beer to make it go flat? Why would I want my beer flat?
Miller Chill Crap Lighter Fluid--you do not pass go, you do not collect $200. Shame on you, Miller, for this insane alcoholic “beverage”.
Didn’t we say something about marinating it in chicken, too?
I saw the commercial for that and seriously thought about picking some up. I like beer with lime in it, like Corona, and I figured it was...sort of the same thing? Tastes like ass you say, huh? I’m not much of a beer snob - I don’t like dark, chewy beers. I’m more of the see-through-piss-beer drinker. You know, like Bud Light. Could it be they’re marketing this beer toward me? Hehe! Pretty nasty though, huh? All right. I’ll take your word for it.
Someone recently recommended Miller Chill to me. I will have to go back and check to see what it was she liked about it.
@Deltus: If you are ever on the east coast, I highly recommend Brooklyn Brewery.
from san diego • Cocktail: margarita
hahahah! it WAS miller chill! one of our guests yesterday BROUGHT that! i had to come and double check… funniest part? they totally left it here… LOL
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
Dude! I sent you an email about your shindig. Did you not get it?? I never heard back from you.
Yes - perusing your archives....
And YES this beer SUCKS! Its the.... lazy person’s version of getting an actual Tecate, cutting lime to squeeze into the can (or bottle), and carefully shaking salt in while trying to avoid the Mount Pompeii explosion of beer foam.
Miller just handed over their easy verison of what enebriated Mexicans can do in their sleep. It was MASSIVE failure.
Note - I didnt even make it to the halfway point of the one bottle - you are a brave woman.
from Jefferson, WI
Miller began testing Miller Chill in five major demographics across the southern-portion of the United States - Arizona, Florida, New Mexico, Texas and San Diego, California in March 2007.
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
Well, it sucked in this demographic. lol.
from Los Angeles LA
Non-food substances needed in a fine, powdered form, such as building materials, may be processed by a miller.
Food is traditionally obtained through farming, ranching, and fishing, with hunting, foraging and other methods of subsistence locally important.
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