Joelle: how was your weekend?
Kathy: If I could do it over, I’d rather swallow hot pokers and crap them out sideways. How was yours?
She comes up with the best descriptions. I startled my neighbor with how loud I laughed at that.
Of course, none of our clients would ever want this… 
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from Pasadena, CA
HAHAHAHAHA! That is awesome. I think we’ve all had days like that, so I hope it helps Kathy to know that not only is she hilarious, but she’s not alone.
Cocktail: Amaretto Stone Sour
And how do you reply to that? Do you try to top her, or just bow to the mistress and lamely confess that yours was “eh, ok I guess”.
It still doesn’t touch the “it’s hotter than the underside of Satan’s nutsack” one.
from San Diego, CA • Cocktail: slightly dirty Grey Goose martini
She is funny, isn’t she? The other night at midnight I got a text that said, “Beef jerky telescope” and nothing else. I replied with “chicken wing maxipad”. I thought we were playing a spy game…
from West Palm Beach, FL • Cocktail: Champagne Bellini
HAHAHA… Dude I forgot about the beef jerky telescope text.
*is strolling along, hears “beef jerky telescope”, starts clucking like a chicken*
Damn you, post hypnotic suggestions!!!