No, I Say. NO.

Joelle said at some point on July 21, 2007

posted from my cell phone

Of Dorks and Photography

Joelle said at some point on July 19, 2007

Robot Pants!

I decided after my photography pity party last week that I would go out and shoot anything I could to get more practice.  I worked my way through Old Town and Seaport Village, snapping photos of just about anything. I did manage to come up with a few good shots. It made me feel better about the whole thing, all of your comments and talking to my friend Peter helped, too. 

I also started experimenting more with post-processing techniques.  I am still a bit gunshy from back in the day when I was harassed (to put it gently) for using Photoshop on my photos (There’s no way my meager processing skills could shed 50lbs off this ass — blending out blemishes and whitening teeth are more my speed.), so I find it amusing that post-processing is all the rage now.  Anyway, I tried a few and found that it’s really fun!  I’d love to try to learn some fancier stuff. Bitca is always doing something new and interesting, but I don’t know if I have the patience for setting up big production shots and all that.  We’ll see…

But, I may be more inclined to now that I have my very own GorillaPod!  Oh, juicy jumped-up christ in a sidecar, I love my GorillaPod.  I was taking these shots of animal crackers last night hand-held and they kept coming out blurry or bleached out or otherwise crappy, but when I tried with my GorillaPod, it was so much easier.  I can’t wait to take it out with me for shots.  Yay, GorillaPod!

Kathy and I are being asked by our editor to submit a “fun” photo for our bio section since our “professional” (if you can call my long-arm “professional") headshot is already going on the back cover of the book.  They wanted to use this one, which we have some reservations about, mostly because we look like top shelf dorks.  So, since we can’t get together right now, we’re thinking of staging a kooky, yet cool shot and having some fun with our fancy cameras and Photoshop.  Any suggestions?  Keep it clean, kids… OK, well, keep it tidy, at least.

I Use an Abacus, Too

Joelle said at some point on July 18, 2007

Does anyone actually use the phone book anymore?  Like, the yellow pages?  I can’t think of the last time I’ve used it or seen anyone use it.  By now, it seems obsolete what with Google and that whole Internet and everything. It’s halfway through 2007. We’re almost finished with this decade and we’re still using the yellow pages?  When I was a kid, I thought I’d be traveling in airlocks by now, not looking up Szechuan in the phone book.

I always loathe the day that the phone books come out because you know they will sit outside along with all your neighbors’ for a week while they sun fade and get all weathered. Eventually, you throw it away or someone uses it to re-balance their patio furniture or something.  Would that money not be well-spent elsewhere?  The amount of advertising that people pay to be put in the Yellow Pages could be used somewhere else, the amount of paper and trees they’re wasting by even printing them, the cost and the emissions of the gas used by all the delivery drivers that dump those piles of phone books on our doorsteps… it’s all a bit too much.  I especially love that I don’t even have a land-line phone and I still get the local phone company yellow pages, along with about 3 others from competing companies.  That’s effective.

Now I’m seeing commercials for the phone book.  They’re clearly desperate to get people back to using the phone book.  Why not give up the ghost and embrace technology?  I suppose we have to account for the people who don’t have computers, but that’s what dialing 411 is for. If you’re that desperate to find a local shop that specializes in 3-D jigsaw puzzles, then call Information, suck up the quarter and don’t be a cheapskate.  It’s still far less expensive than the cost of printing all those books.

Of course, we have to take into account those who can’t afford the quarter to call 411, but then they shouldn’t be shopping for 3-D jigsaw puzzles anyway. 

Now That’s McService!

Joelle said at some point on July 17, 2007

So, a few weeks ago, I swung through the McD’s drive-thru for some ungodly reason and ordered a mushroom burger. I get it home and it’s raw inside.  Annoying, yes, so I call up the joint and give them my beef, so to speak.  Jennifer the Manager puts my name on a list to get a replacement for free the next time I come by.  I rarely eat at McDonald’s (especially since the McBone incident), so it’s taken me this long to cash in on that.  I was at the post office yesterday and with McD’s right there, I hit the drive-thru to get my freebie.

I told them at the speaker that my name was on a list, but they put me on hold to get someone else. A couple minutes later someone else comes to the speaker and I give my order again.  Then I pulled forward to the second window where I’m greeted by an extremely snot-faced girl with her hair greased so tight into a ponytail she looked permanently surprised.  She also sported that little curl of fringe in front like she hairsprayed it and then used the curling iron.  Her lipstick was a lovely shade of frosted raw porkchop, lined in what could only be described as dried blood.  And I kid you not, her name tag said “Quanshunta”. 

“Mmmkay, that’ll be… uh.... $6.48,” she said, as though I just had just awakened her from a coma.

I replied, “Oh… I’m on Jennifer’s list?  This sandwich is just a replacement...” Her blue airbrushed talons came jutting out the window, dangling the white McDonald’s sack and she said, “OK, fine. Here!” as though my dialogue is keeping her from dealing with pressing matters of State.

Visibly holding a five dollar bill in my hand, I quickly said, “In the confusion, I’d forgotten to say I’d like to add on a Diet Coke —” but before I could finish, she cuts me off.

“We’re out of that,” she said, without missing a beat.

“Oh, I see.  Well, I’m willing to pay for it.... Wait, you’re out of Diet Coke?” I said, a bit confused.  “Are you really out of soda or are you just saying that so you don’t have to turn 45 degrees, stick a cup under a spout and press a button?”

I haven’t seen an eyeroll that over the top since I was in junior high.  “Whatever!” she sighed and waved her hand, dismissing me.

I pulled away, muttering not-fit-to-print obscenities about her virtue under my breath and decided that not only was I no longer hungry, I didn’t trust that burger one bit.  Quanshunta had “I spit in your food” written all over her.  It could have been perfectly fine, but I wasn’t willing to risk it.

I’ll make my own mushroom burger. It’s better anyway.  Damn you, Quanshunta. *shakes fist*

BevMoblog

Joelle said at some point on July 15, 2007

I’m sitting outside BevMo right now sipping coffee, waiting for it to open. Is it odd to sit in front of a liquor store on a Sunday morning?