Before, our work days usually began with something along the lines of “Good morning, shithead.” followed by a “Good morning, asshole.” (in the most endearing sort of way, I swear.) Then we’d do email.
Now, it goes a little something like this…
Kathy: i smell poop
Kathy: i have poop on me somewhere
Ah, motherhood. Take a whiff.
kathy’s status is now “Tony Bennett – My Favorite Things”. (11/29/2004 10:15 AM)
kathy: My Favorite Things
kathy: is NOT A XMAS SONG
kathy: ASSHOLES
Aaaaaaaaamen. Who decided this was a Christmas song, anyway? I try to be all zen and holiday-like about it when I hear it, but it quietly irks me every time. From a musical. Not a Christmas song. Bah. Humbug.
kathy: we had a tile crisis
me: snakes again?
kathy: yeah
kathy: snakes with feet
me: Oooooooooh
me: you mean lizards!
kathy: and then the number 15 washer showed up
me: really?
kathy: yeah
me: did you put the snakes in it?
kathy: yep, on the spin cycle
me: excellent. that should make for some nice tile.
kathy: very authentic
I am so easily amused.
her: GAAAAAAAAAAA I SUCK
me: awwwwwww
me: you suck bezier!
her: i totally suck bezier
me: hahahahahah
her: heheh
her: my curve looks like a limp dick
me: I just snorted
her: lol
me: that’s like such a designer’s insult
me: “Oh yeah! Well, your bezier looks like a limp dick!”
her: BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
me: “your mama’s a bezier!”
her: i just spit water
julie: haha well, you are hot.
me: naw…*rubs toe in dirt* thanks.
julie: i’d do ya and i’m not even gay. lol
me: thanks, honey.
julie: ya know, i really want some chicken now.
me: hahahaha
julie: because you’re eating chicken not because i said i’d do ya.
me: there’s something truly righteous about the word “cram”.
sphinx: totally
me: it’s very satisfying.
sphinx: its a stress reliever too
Yo, Instagram