Tenth Musee

Kathy: i had this vision of when [my kids] teenagers
Kathy: and they come in all dirty and sweaty with a pack of friends
Kathy: and raid my fridge

Me: and drink Sunny D from the carton and demand to know where their Pizza Rolls are?
Me: and you waltz in with a strategically positioned bag of Doritos and they all exclaim how you’re the best mom in the world?

Kathy: something like that
Kathy: only I’ll tell them to make their own damn pizza rolls and I wont be wearing a matching sweater set

Me: well, you DO drive a mini van… it’s a gateway stereotype. Next you’ll be getting drunk at 3 in the afternoon while your kids nap. Oh… wait…

Kathy: i dont drive a minivan THANK YOU

Me: I love that that is the part you took offense to.

Joelle: as my father would say,  “Horse on you!”
Joelle: I think that’s the old fashioned version of “Sucka!”

Kathy: does it have to be a horse?
Kathy: or could it be like a buffalo
Kathy: or a wooly mammoth
Kathy: or
Kathy: a dead chicken

Joelle: “dead chicken on you!” does have a nice ring.

Kathy:  decomposition brings a new aspect to it.

I realize the only people that will get this are those that use Yahoo Messenger and know what that Audible sounds like. I tried to find a recording of it to no avail. Still, I must save it for posterity.

Joelle: I want mexican food.

Kathy: I want a smoothie and a big rubber fist.

Joelle: I either hear someone’s vibrator… or an electric guitar.

Kathy: What if it’s both?

Over a salad, Kathy and I were perusing our new guilty pleasure, TrueHookupConfessions.com.  If your eyes are virginal or you’re pure of heart or… whatever, don’t read any further. 

read more >

Kathy on pets:

Joelle: I want two or three weiners.

Kathy: doesn’t every woman?

Pretty soon she’ll have a whole woodland creatures comedy set.

Joelle: I need one of those remote light switches like in the infomercials.

Kathy: you need The Clapper!

Joelle: yes, but when I have sex, it might be like a disco. *hustles* Ooee ooee!

Kathy: *slap slap slap slap slap*

Kathy: ball to ass contact should be a caveat on the box. “Clapper may not work if you shave your beav.”

Joelle: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a theme.

Joelle: Is there a new way to export from Blogger? I haven’t done it in ages.

Kathy: no, I’d have to look it up in the docs

Joelle: Blogger makes it such a pain in the ass

Kathy: I know. Moving from Blogger to WordPress is a breeze

Joelle: God, not to Expression Engine it isn’t.  I have to export to MT first, do the hokey pokey, then use the MT import utility.

Kathy: Exporting Blogger is like… “crap an anvil, step left, sew a quilt, then download this patch, then call this 800 number, then eat a sardine upside down, bake a cake backwards, enter this key number in the space provided and… voila!”

Joelle: Mmm…. breezy.

I love this woman so much.

Kathy: I am so effing off its not even funny

Joelle: off? how so?

Kathy: huh?

Kathy: dicking off

Kathy: wanking it

Joelle: oohhh!

Kathy: procrastinating

Kathy: choking the Internet Chicken

Joelle: ok, I am so blogging that…

We’re both on tight deadlines and we’ve been having a lot of, let’s say, “challenges” with the outsourced development of a particular project, which was supposed to be delivered yesterday morning.

Kathy: he told me 3 hours so if its not in my lap at 1:30

Kathy: hell is opening up and asses will burn.

Joelle: *sizzles*

I always enjoy her metaphors.