Me, A to Z

Friday, February 24th, 2012

I saw this over on Sizzle’s and it’s been a while since I told you pointless stuff about me, so here we go!

A. Age: 38 — I’m not really sure when that happened. When I think “ten years ago”, I still picture the 90′s…

B. Bed size: A king. From Bed in a Box. I cannot say enough good things about them. SO MUCH AWESOME. (No, they’re not paying me, but I’ll happily take their money.)

C. Chore that you hate: Dishes. Yet, I’m the one who does them. mikey gets things like trash, vacuuming and spiders.

D. Dogs: Love dogs. I’m totally for dogs. Especially dachshunds, labs and pit bulls. Currently, Lulu is the head of the household, diva rabbit that she is.

E. Essential start to your day: Coffee, followed by extensive bunny love. And then after that some more coffee. And whatever I recorded last night on the DVR.

F. Favorite color: It changes all the time. I’m a big fan of pink, but it’s not practical always. I love oranges and aquas, rich reds, happy grass green… and I like to mix it up.

G. Gold or Silver: Silver. Or white gold. Anything not yellow, basically. I have gold undertones in my skin and it makes me look jaundiced.

H. Height: 5’10″ So, taller than you, probably. I don’t wear heels.

I. Instruments you play: I play the larynx. I’ve also dabbled in guitar and recorder (remember those?) My mom was a concert-level pianist,so I also took piano lessons from 3 to 18 and taught them from 18-22. I haven’t played in ages and it makes me sad. Let’s talk about something else.

J. Job title: This is the part where I am supposed to put like “web design ninja/rock star/goddess/diva/bad ass”, right? I honestly have no idea what my job title is. Web designer. Business owner. Creative director? Principle? Lead? Whatever. I make pretty websites that go.

K. Kids: The forecast is 99% no kids with a 1% chance of holy shit.

L. Live: I currently live in our nation’s tramp stamp, Las Vegas. North Las Vegas, to be specific, for all you creepers out there. I’m from San Diego, of which I’m proud and for which I’m spoiled absolutely rotten and have been ruined for every other city. Thank god we’re going back in the Fall.

M. Mother’s name: Jamia Jewel. We have the same first name.

N. Nicknames: Dude. Babe. Whore. Jo. (Only a few get to call me Jo and only one gets to call me Whore.)

O. Overnight hospital stays: One. I assume you mean one instance and not one night. I spent 3 nights, I think, back in the early 00′s for an acute asthma attack. It was totally not awesome. The pudding wasn’t bad.

P. Pet peeves: Lack of a courtesy wave. Not acknowledging when someone’s held a door for you. Amazeballs. Obvious poor grammar, like “supposably” and “fustrated”. When you’re signaling to get around the guy in front of you and just when you get a window, the asshole behind you dashes out and takes it. Eff that guy.

Q. Quote from a movie: “Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?”

R. Right- or left-handed: Lefty

S. Siblings: It’s complicated. The short answer is: 1 half sister, 2 half brothers and 2 stepsisters.

T. Tattoos & Piercings: I have a nickel-sized butterfly on the back of my neck near my hairline I got in Dallas in the early 00′s after 2 bottles of sake. It’s my favorite one. I also have Kanji on my left ankle I got with Allison in ’98. I’ve been thinking about covering it up because in hindsight, it doesn’t make sense and they’re bigger than I wanted and the guy put this magenta fade around it that causes people to ask if it’s new fairly often, but most of the time I forget that it’s there.

Piercings: my ears, only once. I had my tongue pierced in the early 00′s, twice (once with Sarah). Like y’do. And I had my nose pierced in the mid 90′s — just a tiny tiny little one that I took out a few weeks later when it was allergy season.

U. Underwear: I used to not wear any in my 20′s, like girls do for some reason. Then I went on a “let’s wear sexy underwear all the time to make ourselves feel sexier” kick, but that just left me with expensive underpants and a lace chafe, so I’m a fan of cotton boyshorts in black, white, or nude. Wank accordingly.

V. Vegetable(s) you hate: I have to agree with Sizzle, mealy tomatoes are abominable. But I generally like most veggies. I’m not the biggest fan of fresh green beans, for some reason. The crappy canned kind I love, but fresh ones just feel hairy and tough to me.

W. What makes you run late: Very little. I tend to be one of those annoying early people and spend a lot of time in my car on my iphone waiting.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: Oh, lots. Mostly my ankle, which I’ve twisted and sprained several times falling down stairs. (It’s a gift of mine.) I also have had my back x-rayed when I slipped and fell in a grocery store meat department and my lungs x-rayed to make sure I didn’t have TUMAH.

Y. Yummy food that you make: I make pretty good chili, I think. And tacos. I make good spaghetti sauce — I got Kathy to eat mushrooms, so that’s saying something. I also bake these cookies that are affectionately called Orgasm Cookies due to the sounds people make when they eat them.

Z. Zoo animal: Pandas, pandas, pandas. I also love to see the flamingos, even though they reek. And the polar bears.