Tuesday, September 14th, 2010
So, here’s something novel: I went out to run errands, forgot my phone and was incapable of alerting people of my whereabouts. I know, the horror, right? But… but… how will anyone know I’m at the gas station? How will they go on without knowing I’m buying coffee creamer? How did the world spin before Foursquare?!
But, one good thing about not having my Twitter or Foursquare handy? Blog fodder, yo. I’d forgotten that’s how it works. And naturally, the one time I forget to bring my phone, the following occur:
- I taste a delicious, awesome spicy pork taco… at a car wash minimart.
- A fat kid holding a cardboard sign that reads “I em hongry” eats a McDonald’s cheeseburger and asks me for a dollar.
- I am accosted by a deflating wacky, wailing, inflatable, arm-flailing tube man.
- An engine ignites, catching a man’s crotch ablaze which he subsequently tries to put out with a slushy.
- I am solicited to pay for the funeral of someone I don’t know because they already sold his gold teeth and still don’t have enough.
- An unarmed assailant in short pants unleashes a scourge of apples in the frozen food aisle.
So yeah, only one of these things is not true I’m sorry to say. Or not sorry, depending on how you look at it… because if I’d had my phone, I totally would have blown this whole post in a series of annoying tweets.