Your ability to tell the truth about weight and fat is one of the reasons I loved PDTD. Thank you. If and when it comes back, I will once again be a loyal viewer.

I have long had conflicted feelings about the FA movement. I have spent most of my life being overweight and hated my body and myself because of it. So, I support the FA movement because looking back, I see how much I hurt myself by not accepting my body and loving myself, no matter what the scale said. I am just now able to love and accept the person I was at 220 lbs. I realize how many opportunities I squandered…not doing things or discounting my gifts and talents because I was too obsessed with my fat. I let my fat rule my life and punished myself daily because of it. I look back and if I could redo anything in my life, it wouldn’t be losing weight sooner, it would be loving myself no matter my size or shape.

However, I have real issues with the segment of the FA movement who believes that any support of healthy lifestyle changes or dieting is somehow a hate crime. I lost weight 2 years ago, not because I wanted to look hot, but because I wanted to live a long and healthy life. I witnessed my mom lose her life at age 60 from diabetes related complications. She would have lived decades longer if she had maintained her weight and her health. I honor her memory by focusing on my own health. It isn’t coincidence that the first time I lost weight for the health benefit and not to look good in a pair of jeans, I was successful.

I love the way I look now, but more importantly I love my level of health and fitness. I love that I don’t make excuses to not go hiking with friends. I love that I no longer abuse my body with food. And as I said above, I love myself now no matter the number on the scale. I feel stronger, healthier and saner.

Thanks Joelle. I appreciated your post. It got me to think about a lot of stuff that’s just been stirring around in the big ol’ head of mine.

This is a sensitive subject from any way you look at it. Some people may think you’re judging them but I understand what you’re saying, completely.

Whenever someone pops into the FA community and start fat-shaming they are told to STFU&GTFO, the people attacking you should have known better than to come to your weight-loss support site to rant, seriously. As for what they were claiming, it’s possible they have read stuff like this:
http://junkfoodscience.blogspot.com/2008/02/how-weve-came-to-believe-that.html

and this:
http://junkfoodscience.blogspot.com/2008/07/exercise-diet-that-wasnt.html

and just really wanted to spread the message.

I love reading Sandy’s stuff, and it’s a great place to start if you should ever be interested in reading the more scientific parts of FA (I guess she’s not technically FA but we like to claim her as our own, heh) rather than the whole ‘I’m fat and fabulous’ parts, which I love but is obviously not everyone’s cup of tea.

So yeah. ISSUES!

Thanks for sharing that, Cath. I’m glad you have a wonderful husband who loves you for who you are and I hope you love you for who you are, too.

Like, in your situation, it makes perfect sense that the word “fat” is what you needed to hear instead of the more socially acceptable words like “plus” and “bbw” and “curvy”. I’ve been there. And it’s not like I’ve never referred to myself as fat (for those who might think I’m deluding *myself*). Of course! But I’m not standing on my balcony waving a Fat Pride banner and pretending it’s healthy to be 50 or 75 or 100 lbs overweight.

I don’t know. *shrug* It’s just my opinion. I’m sure some might think I’m judging them now, but I’m really not. That’s the whole point.

Thanks for commenting!

There is fat discrimination, just like there’s racial, gender, sexual-orientation and religious discrimination. Doesn’t mean it’s right, but you just have to handle it however you feel is best. I agree that there are many misconceptions about overweight people that they are lazy or don’t try — and that is just not always the case. I know lots of very fit and healthy women of a size 14 — my smallest size is a 12 (I think I *smoke* at a 12! TOOT TOOT!), but as you said, the point is not to make assumptions about other people.

Interesting title for the BFD piece. Coincidence? Regardless, just for the record, I caught a lot of heat from the FA community regarding the title of my website, PutDowntheDonut.com. My response to that has always been, “Not everything is about you”, to put it bluntly. It was just meant to be funny and lighthearted and realistic and entertaining — to me and those who chose to read it. I was accused to propagating the ‘myth’ that fat people just need to stop eating. To that I say, “Give me a break.” Myth? Really? I’d say 90% of the time, we really DO need to put down the donut. Not EVERYONE can have a thyroid problem or a slow metabolism or some extenuating circumstance that makes them overweight. We don’t have the fattest country on Earth because we have drive-thru salad bars. Sometimes, the truth is a cruel mistress. And I speak for myself!

And I don’t mean you, you. Just like… “you”. Ubiquitous you.

I also stick my pinky out when I drink! I get razzed about it, you? Thanks for commenting, Gry!

As for FA and health, I just read an interesting post and the comments over there are a pretty good representation of what the different people in the FA community believes about FA (because there are many voices, many views) and how health fits into it. I think the basic idea is that eating healthy and exercising is good for everyone, but you can’t tell from looking at someone, whether thin or fat, if they practice good eating and keep active – that it is possible to have a horrid diet but not get hassled for it if you don’t happen to look stereotypically unhealthy (like Cath above – props to you for sticking to the better option here! Being fat is MUCH BETTER than being dead.) and that it is possible to be fat even though you eat a balanced diet (I do and I am still fat) and are active. But ultimately no one owes it to you or anyone else to be healthy or defend or explain why they are fat because ultimately it is no one’s business but their own and being fat does not make anyone a bad/lazy/greedy/insert whatever person.

And by that definition I don’t mind being labeled as fat. I AM fat. I am also short, I have dark eyes and my pinky sticks out when I hold a glass. None of it tells anything about the kind of person I am, it’s just too bad that so many people get hung up on that one aspect of me and assume they know anything about my habits and health just from looking at me. Some could very well be right, but most just aren’t.

http://www.bfdblog.com/2009/07/22/what-if-we-dont-put-down-the-donuts/

As for labeling someone fat who don’t identify as such (regardless of what BMI says, we all know how accurate that is, hur hur!) that is just.. rude, we all have a right to define ourselves and fat is a sensitive issue. I don’t think the original poster would have done it if she knew how it was to be received and being into FA myself I can see how easy it is to forget that Fat (the word and the state of being), for a lot of people, is still something inherently negative.