You Say Potato, She Says “Hell Yeah”
Sunday, June 22nd, 2008
It’s been a really busy week and with this heat, it’s been difficult to get things done in a timely fashion. My laptop can only run for a couple hours before it’s Africa hot and I can’t even rest my wrists on it. The fans work and are clean, I have a cooling pad underneath, but even with the fan in the room pointing right at me, it needs a cool down.
So, I decided to stop work at a normal time on Friday and join Daniel, Richard, mikey, and a couple other guys from Twitter at Urban Mo’s for a cocktail.
Yeah, a gay bar on a Friday night during a Summer of (thus far) sweltering heat was an adventure. We finally managed to carve ourselves a little niche and this drunk guy comes stumbling up mumbling something about how “there are SO many hot guys in here, right?” and he was wondering if he could put his mug of beer down where I was sitting, which happened to be in the middle of our little group. I was too nice and Daniel had to usher him away. Hey, I’m a sucker for a man who slurs.
Anyway, mikey and I bailed after that because it was hotter than Hell hit with a hammer and my car has air conditioning. I was hungry so we hit the Wendy’s drive-thru over by mikey’s place. While I’m deciding between the salty burger and the greasy chicken sandwich, I overhear this woman in the minivan in front of me ordering her meal. She seemed like she was just ordering and ordering… and ordering, so I start to listen more intently.
“I’d like one baked potato… with butter ONLY.”
“Would you like anything else?”
“Yes, I’d like one baked potato with chives and one with butter ONLY.”
“So is that one with chives and two with butter only or one?”
“Yes and I’d like one with cheese.”
“Do you want anything else?”
“Yes, I’d like one baked potato with butter ONLY and one with chili, but NO cheese. One with cheese. And then one with chives and butter ONLY.”
“Wait. Uhhh… OK, so did you want…?”
And this went on for like 10 minutes. She could have gotten a 5 lb. sack of potatoes for about 1/8th of what she paid at Wendy’s for her epic potatorama. I couldn’t help but send this Tweet which was apparently enjoyed by all we’d just left at Mo’s. They were speculating as much as we were about what this woman could possibly be doing with all these baked potatoes.
Spontaneous dinner party and she without side dish? All starch diet? Tuber fetish? What?
I think she was having a little self esteem issues, and was going to drown her sorrows in spuds. And as we all know, the combination of butter, sour cream, and chives will lighten anyone’s spirits.
@Fred! Thanks for stopping by. It was great to hang out on Saturday. I really enjoyed your company.
You know they effed up her order too!
Potato Party in her Tummy, So Yummy, So Yummy!
Tuber fetish. Definitely tuber fetish.
@Kathy: Thank you, Rain Man.
She’s gonna be crapping spuds for a week.
Actually, they went in as spuds, so she’ll probably be crapping tater tots. Heh.
That was probably me in the drive-thru at Wendy’s.
It irks me when people don’t know that they have to delineate a list. Woman, here’s how you do it.
“I want 5 potatoes, got that? On potato number 1, I want butter only. On potato number 2, I want chives and butter. On potato number 3…”. Etc.
Simplify, simplify, simplify.
Well I’m not sure if you ever have seen rotten.com but there is a lovely series of photos called “potatoes and jelly”. I’m guessing it’s party time at her house.