I’ve mentioned that I watch The Bachelor. It’s a guilty pleasure, I admit it. I’ve not watched “After the Final Rose” yet, the dish session that happens after the final episode, but I will be while I make my morning to-do list here in a second. In the meantime, I’ve been stumbling across blogs with posts this morning absolutely enraged at this season’s Bachelor.

For those who don’t watch or live in another country, basically some guy, usually some sort of well-off attractive doofus, lives for 12-ish weeks in a house with 25 “beautiful women” (about 5 percent ‘beautiful woman’, 85% ‘trollop’ and 10% ‘totally out of their gourd’.) Over time he whittles down the women by giving them single red roses at a rose ceremony, sending someone home every week.  At the end of those 12 weeks, The Bachelor is supposed dump one girl and minutes later, propose to another.  Romantic, huh?

Anyway, if you’ve recorded it and not watched it yet, there are spoilers (and strong opinion) below.

So… he didn’t pick anyone. SO WHAT?

I’ve always found it absolutely ludicrous that they propose to someone after knowing them 12 weeks.  Granted, I can understand dating someone exclusively for 12 weeks, spending all your time together and having that happen.  Logically it seems a little fast, but I can totally understand the kind of emotions that drive that desire.  But this is not 12 weeks of exclusive dating. It’s 25 girls, whittled down one by one over the course of these 12 weeks, until you’re left with the two women that you like the best from a herd of hoochies.  And the guy has only gone on a handful of individual dates with each woman, if that, and the rest of the time, was sharing dates with several other women.

But yet, at the end of those 12 weeks, he’s supposed to just be like, “OK, bye Girl #1. Now Girl #2, let’s get hitched!”?  Give me a break. And what cracks me up is how *pissed off* so many women are about this that watch the show. I’ve counted 5 blogs this morning with comments like, “I hate him!” and “What a jerk!” and “He just wanted to sleep with them!” or whatever.

Honestly?  I admire the fact that he didn’t choose anyone. He said he wasn’t willing to propose to someone knowing that it might be a false promise.  I think that seems mature, not callous.  I think the guy was kind of a goof and I didn’t find him “The Sexiest Bachelor Ever” as the show kept touting him, but he seemed like a nice enough guy with a warm, sensible family and a kind nature. He didn’t seem like he was out to break hearts and I doubt he has a hard time getting laid.

He clearly had feelings for Jenni (who I thought was sweet and bubbly, though maybe a little naive) and Deanna (who I thought was a good match, but seemed a bit chilly and bossy — “The laundry should be done how I want, the house should be decorated how I want, dinner should be made how I want…” ), but I sensed feelings for Jenni were stronger and felt like he was bordering on choosing Deanna because she meshed so well with his family.

I think it’s FINE to want to take your time and figure out your feelings before putting a rock on someone’s finger and committing to them for the rest of your life.  I know the tendency these days is “Oh well, we can just get divorced if it doesn’t work out.” or they could call off the engagement, but why put yourself through all that emotional turmoil when you could just be sure from the start?

I have no desire to get divorced. Of course, I’m sure no one does, but that “out” is just not really something on the table for me. When I get married, I want it to be for always… I want my engagement to be a moment I remember forever as heartfelt and true, even if it happens sitting in a Starbucks with a paper straw wrapper as a ring.  I wouldn’t want it to be some overblown production forced upon me by reality television and you probably wouldn’t either, so why should he?  Simply because he agreed to be on the show?

Sure, I felt bad for the women who were hurt.  It sucks that they were rejected on national television.  It sucks that it wasn’t the dream ending everyone was hoping for.  It sucks that Jenni had to be sent home crying when I think he wanted to choose her, but really, he’s a bad guy… why?  He’s a jerk… why?  Because he wanted to be sure?

Huh. I don’t get that. I would think that women would be applauding him for not sliding another diamond on some poor girl’s finger only to see them broken up 3 months later in the tabloids, but far be it from me to think someone should act on their heart and conscience and not on what television executives want one to do just for the sake of some fairy tale ending.

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