GFI, other assorted friends and I went to the House of Blues last night to see Jamie Cullum.  Before I get to the show, let me just say that if you don’t know GFI, you should. And if you don’t read her blog, you really should. And also? If you don’t go drinking with this woman, you really should.  She will go salsa on your ass and make assorted festive sounds.  The cab driver will try to get a date with her and she’ll try to sneak into VIP seating and get caught.  It’s a good time, y’all.  I highly recommend it.

Anyway, so Jamie Cullum at the House of Blues.  Firstly, Jamie Cullum is a hot little hottie piece of hot british 20-something, jazz-singing hotness.  Christian, another girl who went with us, said she wanted to put him in her purse and you know, you probably could. He’s wee, but he’s HOT. Oy vey.  And he’s got so much soul.  And he stands on the piano.  And wears Chucks.  Swoon.  He was amazing.  His voice sounded exactly like it does on his CDs and not like it was lip-synced.  He definitely changed it up and went off and scatted and riffed and did all that, so it was really live, but his voice…. it’s just… rawr. 

The show was awesome.  The music was incendiary.  The company was lovely.  Jamie Cullum was hot.  House of Blues can sit and spin.

What a shitty venue!  Ok, it’s shitty for an all-ages show, at least.  I mean, really.  All ages?  At House of Blues?  A place where grown-ups think, “Hey, I can have a martini and listen to one of the snack-cakiest jazz singers with other adults who enjoy similar!” But no… no.  No, what you really get with your paid admission is a room full of pubescents that got there at 4:30 in the afternoon with their mom to line-up so they could get a spot in front and wave their glitter-glue signs and tinkle like it’s goddamn American Idol.

NO WHERE on the ticket did it indicate it was an all-ages show.  At least, I didn’t see it on Ticketmaster when I bought the ticket.  I also didn’t see an option for the “Dinner Seating” they offer.  WHAT THE HELL?  After we got sick of hearing someone one talk about her algebra homework and the view being blocked by the aforementioned signs, GFI dragged me upstairs to the “21 and up” area, which was at capacity, easily.  All the adults were up there trying to get away from the kids and to get a drink.  But we discovered up there… SEATS!  Like, real seats with a great view of the stage.  Apparently, if you come ot the box office and get the “package”, you have dinner, then they take you up there after.  You get a better view of the stage, a cocktail waitress and you’ve had dinner. I mean, really. WHAT THE HELL?  Why wasn’t this offered to us somewhere?

I mean, I’m thrilled that kids are into Jamie Cullum.  Bring it on.  But for pete’s sake, they should warn the grown-ups.

Oh, and when we came in, they made me “check” my camera.  I opened my purse and said, “I have a camera, but I don’t intend to use it.” And the security guy goes, “You’ll have to pay $3 to check it.” Now, this irks me.  Because some dipshits can’t control themselves, the rest of us have to pay to have someone keep their camera for them.  When I said, “Oh, damn. Ok. I just had it for dinner, I don’t intend to use it,” another security guy goes, “Ma’am, it SAYS right on the ticket — NO CAMERA. CHECK. IT.”

Ok, fine. I appreciate that it’s their policy. I just think it’s a sucky one. I’m 32 years old. If you tell me not to use my camera, I won’t.  It is what it is, but I think it’s dumb.  Sadly, it’s not HOB’s fault; it’s the fact that people are tools and can’t follow instructions. But I also don’t appreciate being made to feel stupid in front of a room full of people. I mean, damn.  I forgot my camera was in there.  It was a birthday dinner, for pete’s sake!  Just because everyone else is a dipshit and will violate your no-photo-taking rules, I should be “outed” in front of strangers for “not reading my ticket”?  Eh. Whatever.  I checked the camera and didn’t bitch too much.  That’s what this blog is for.

Anyway, House of Blues… I don’t know. I may or may not attend a show there again. I don’t think I’ll eat there again, though.  Their food was ok enough, but not that spectacular and definitely overpriced.  This was the 2nd time I’ve eaten there and left kind of nonplussed about the whole thing.  I ate my entire salad, but that’s only because I was starving and had downed 2 martinis.  The service was friendly, but shoddy and slow.  Sloooooow. They don’t serve happy hour in the dining room.  And Roger never got his sweet potato fries.

A man didn’t get his sweet potato fries, people.  I think you can understand where I’m coming from.

Here are my fave Jamie Cullum tunes from each of his albums.  Limited time, so get ‘em while they’re hot. “Right-click, save-as” or I’ll call GFI to go salsa on your ass.

Jamie Cullum – Blame It On My Youth (he played this last night. it’s my favorite.)

Jamie Cullum – I Can’t Get Started

Jamie Cullum – Wind Cries Mary

Jamie Cullum – London Skies

Jamie Cullum – I Want to Be a Pop Star

Jamie Cullum – Get Your Way